Loves Labours Lost

Players:

ACT I

ACT I, SCENE I. The king of Navarre's park.

[Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE and DUMAIN]

  • FERDINAND:

  • Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
  • Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
  • And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
  • When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
  • The endeavor of this present breath may buy
  • That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
  • And make us heirs of all eternity.
  • Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,
  • That war against your own affections
  • And the huge army of the world's desires,--
  • Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
  • Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
  • Our court shall be a little Academe,
  • Still and contemplative in living art.
  • You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
  • Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
  • My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
  • That are recorded in this schedule here:
  • Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
  • That his own hand may strike his honour down
  • That violates the smallest branch herein:
  • If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
  • Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
  • The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
  • Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
  • Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
  • DUMAIN:

  • My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
  • The grosser manner of these world's delights
  • He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
  • To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
  • With all these living in philosophy.
  • BIRON:

  • I can but say their protestation over;
  • So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
  • That is, to live and study here three years.
  • But there are other strict observances;
  • As, not to see a woman in that term,
  • Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
  • And one day in a week to touch no food
  • And but one meal on every day beside,
  • The which I hope is not enrolled there;
  • And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
  • And not be seen to wink of all the day--
  • When I was wont to think no harm all night
  • And make a dark night too of half the day--
  • Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
  • O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
  • Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!
  • FERDINAND:

  • Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
  • BIRON:

  • Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
  • I only swore to study with your grace
  • And stay here in your court for three years' space.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.
  • BIRON:

  • By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
  • What is the end of study? let me know.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Why, that to know, which else we should not know.
  • BIRON:

  • Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
  • FERDINAND:

  • Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.
  • BIRON:

  • Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
  • To know the thing I am forbid to know:
  • As thus,--to study where I well may dine,
  • When I to feast expressly am forbid;
  • Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
  • When mistresses from common sense are hid;
  • Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
  • Study to break it and not break my troth.
  • If study's gain be thus and this be so,
  • Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
  • Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
  • FERDINAND:

  • These be the stops that hinder study quite
  • And train our intellects to vain delight.
  • BIRON:

  • Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
  • Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
  • As, painfully to pore upon a book
  • To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
  • Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
  • Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
  • So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
  • Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
  • Study me how to please the eye indeed
  • By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
  • Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
  • And give him light that it was blinded by.
  • Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
  • That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
  • Small have continual plodders ever won
  • Save base authority from others' books
  • These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
  • That give a name to every fixed star
  • Have no more profit of their shining nights
  • Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
  • Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
  • And every godfather can give a name.
  • FERDINAND:

  • How well he's read, to reason against reading!
  • DUMAIN:

  • Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
  • BIRON:

  • The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
  • DUMAIN:

  • How follows that?
  • BIRON:

  • Fit in his place and time.
  • DUMAIN:

  • In reason nothing.
  • BIRON:

  • Something then in rhyme.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
  • That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
  • BIRON:

  • Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
  • Before the birds have any cause to sing?
  • Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
  • At Christmas I no more desire a rose
  • Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
  • But like of each thing that in season grows.
  • So you, to study now it is too late,
  • Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
  • BIRON:

  • No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
  • And though I have for barbarism spoke more
  • Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
  • Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
  • And bide the penance of each three years' day.
  • Give me the paper; let me read the same;
  • And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
  • FERDINAND:

  • How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
  • BIRON:

  • [Reads]

  • 'Item, That no woman shall come within a
  • mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Four days ago.
  • BIRON:

  • Let's see the penalty.
  • [Reads]

  • 'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Marry, that did I.
  • BIRON:

  • Sweet lord, and why?
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • To fright them hence with that dread penalty.
  • BIRON:

  • A dangerous law against gentility!
  • [Reads]

  • 'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
  • within the term of three years, he shall endure such
  • public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
  • This article, my liege, yourself must break;
  • For well you know here comes in embassy
  • The French king's daughter with yourself to speak--
  • A maid of grace and complete majesty--
  • About surrender up of Aquitaine
  • To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
  • Therefore this article is made in vain,
  • Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
  • FERDINAND:

  • What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.
  • BIRON:

  • So study evermore is overshot:
  • While it doth study to have what it would
  • It doth forget to do the thing it should,
  • And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
  • 'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.
  • FERDINAND:

  • We must of force dispense with this decree;
  • She must lie here on mere necessity.
  • BIRON:

  • Necessity will make us all forsworn
  • Three thousand times within this three years' space;
  • For every man with his affects is born,
  • Not by might master'd but by special grace:
  • If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
  • I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
  • So to the laws at large I write my name:
  • [Subscribes]

  • And he that breaks them in the least degree
  • Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
  • Suggestions are to other as to me;
  • But I believe, although I seem so loath,
  • I am the last that will last keep his oath.
  • But is there no quick recreation granted?
  • FERDINAND:

  • Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
  • With a refined traveller of Spain;
  • A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
  • That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
  • One whom the music of his own vain tongue
  • Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
  • A man of complements, whom right and wrong
  • Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
  • This child of fancy, that Armado hight,
  • For interim to our studies shall relate
  • In high-born words the worth of many a knight
  • From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
  • How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
  • But, I protest, I love to hear him lie
  • And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
  • BIRON:

  • Armado is a most illustrious wight,
  • A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
  • And so to study, three years is but short.
  • [Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARD]

  • DULL:

  • Which is the duke's own person?
  • BIRON:

  • This, fellow: what wouldst?
  • DULL:

  • I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
  • grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person
  • in flesh and blood.
  • BIRON:

  • This is he.
  • DULL:

  • Signior Arme--Arme--commends you. There's villany
  • abroad: this letter will tell you more.
  • COSTARD:

  • Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.
  • FERDINAND:

  • A letter from the magnificent Armado.
  • BIRON:

  • How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!
  • BIRON:

  • To hear? or forbear laughing?
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to
  • forbear both.
  • BIRON:

  • Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
  • climb in the merriness.
  • COSTARD:

  • The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
  • The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.
  • BIRON:

  • In what manner?
  • COSTARD:

  • In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
  • I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
  • her upon the form, and taken following her into the
  • park; which, put together, is in manner and form
  • following. Now, sir, for the manner,--it is the
  • manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,--
  • in some form.
  • BIRON:

  • For the following, sir?
  • COSTARD:

  • As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
  • the right!
  • FERDINAND:

  • Will you hear this letter with attention?
  • BIRON:

  • As we would hear an oracle.
  • COSTARD:

  • Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
  • sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
  • and body's fostering patron.'
  • COSTARD:

  • Not a word of Costard yet.
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'So it is,'--
  • COSTARD:

  • It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
  • telling true, but so.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Peace!
  • COSTARD:

  • Be to me and every man that dares not fight!
  • FERDINAND:

  • No words!
  • COSTARD:

  • Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
  • melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
  • to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
  • air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
  • walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
  • beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
  • to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
  • for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
  • I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
  • for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
  • that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
  • from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
  • here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
  • but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
  • and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
  • knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
  • swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'--
  • COSTARD:

  • Me?
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'--
  • COSTARD:

  • Me?
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'that shallow vassal,'--
  • COSTARD:

  • Still me?
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'--
  • COSTARD:

  • O, me!
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
  • established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
  • which with,--O, with--but with this I passion to say
  • wherewith,--
  • COSTARD:

  • With a wench.
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
  • female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
  • woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
  • have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
  • punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
  • Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and
  • estimation.'
  • DULL:

  • 'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • 'For Jaquenetta,--so is the weaker vessel
  • called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
  • swain,--I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury;
  • and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
  • her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
  • and heart-burning heat of duty.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
  • BIRON:

  • This is not so well as I looked for, but the best
  • that ever I heard.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
  • you to this?
  • COSTARD:

  • Sir, I confess the wench.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Did you hear the proclamation?
  • COSTARD:

  • I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
  • the marking of it.
  • FERDINAND:

  • It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
  • with a wench.
  • COSTARD:

  • I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'
  • COSTARD:

  • This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.
  • FERDINAND:

  • It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'
  • COSTARD:

  • If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.
  • FERDINAND:

  • This maid will not serve your turn, sir.
  • COSTARD:

  • This maid will serve my turn, sir.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
  • a week with bran and water.
  • COSTARD:

  • I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
  • FERDINAND:

  • And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
  • My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
  • And go we, lords, to put in practise that
  • Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
  • [Exeunt FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN]

  • BIRON:

  • I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
  • These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
  • Sirrah, come on.
  • COSTARD:

  • I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
  • taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
  • girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
  • prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
  • till then, sit thee down, sorrow!
  • [Exeunt]

ACT I, SCENE II. The same.

[Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit
  • grows melancholy?
  • MOTH:

  • A great sign, sir, that he will look sad.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.
  • MOTH:

  • No, no; O Lord, sir, no.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my
  • tender juvenal?
  • MOTH:

  • By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Why tough senior? why tough senior?
  • MOTH:

  • Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton
  • appertaining to thy young days, which we may
  • nominate tender.
  • MOTH:

  • And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your
  • old time, which we may name tough.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Pretty and apt.
  • MOTH:

  • How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or
  • I apt, and my saying pretty?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Thou pretty, because little.
  • MOTH:

  • Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • And therefore apt, because quick.
  • MOTH:

  • Speak you this in my praise, master?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • In thy condign praise.
  • MOTH:

  • I will praise an eel with the same praise.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • What, that an eel is ingenious?
  • MOTH:

  • That an eel is quick.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood.
  • MOTH:

  • I am answered, sir.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I love not to be crossed.
  • MOTH:

  • [Aside]

  • He speaks the mere contrary; crosses love not him.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I have promised to study three years with the duke.
  • MOTH:

  • You may do it in an hour, sir.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Impossible.
  • MOTH:

  • How many is one thrice told?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster.
  • MOTH:

  • You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I confess both: they are both the varnish of a
  • complete man.
  • MOTH:

  • Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of
  • deuce-ace amounts to.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • It doth amount to one more than two.
  • MOTH:

  • Which the base vulgar do call three.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • True.
  • MOTH:

  • Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here
  • is three studied, ere ye'll thrice wink: and how
  • easy it is to put 'years' to the word 'three,' and
  • study three years in two words, the dancing horse
  • will tell you.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • A most fine figure!
  • MOTH:

  • To prove you a cipher.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is
  • base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a
  • base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour
  • of affection would deliver me from the reprobate
  • thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and
  • ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised
  • courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should
  • outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men
  • have been in love?
  • MOTH:

  • Hercules, master.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name
  • more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good
  • repute and carriage.
  • MOTH:

  • Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great
  • carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back
  • like a porter: and he was in love.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do
  • excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in
  • carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson's
  • love, my dear Moth?
  • MOTH:

  • A woman, master.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Of what complexion?
  • MOTH:

  • Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Tell me precisely of what complexion.
  • MOTH:

  • Of the sea-water green, sir.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Is that one of the four complexions?
  • MOTH:

  • As I have read, sir; and the best of them too.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a
  • love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason
  • for it. He surely affected her for her wit.
  • MOTH:

  • It was so, sir; for she had a green wit.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • My love is most immaculate white and red.
  • MOTH:

  • Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under
  • such colours.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Define, define, well-educated infant.
  • MOTH:

  • My father's wit and my mother's tongue, assist me!
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and
  • pathetical!
  • MOTH:

  • If she be made of white and red,
  • Her faults will ne'er be known,
  • For blushing cheeks by faults are bred
  • And fears by pale white shown:
  • Then if she fear, or be to blame,
  • By this you shall not know,
  • For still her cheeks possess the same
  • Which native she doth owe.
  • A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of
  • white and red.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar?
  • MOTH:

  • The world was very guilty of such a ballad some
  • three ages since: but I think now 'tis not to be
  • found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for
  • the writing nor the tune.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I will have that subject newly writ o'er, that I may
  • example my digression by some mighty precedent.
  • Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the
  • park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well.
  • MOTH:

  • [Aside]

  • To be whipped; and yet a better love than
  • my master.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love.
  • MOTH:

  • And that's great marvel, loving a light wench.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I say, sing.
  • MOTH:

  • Forbear till this company be past.
  • [Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA]

  • DULL:

  • Sir, the duke's pleasure is, that you keep Costard
  • safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight
  • nor no penance; but a' must fast three days a week.
  • For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she
  • is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I do betray myself with blushing. Maid!
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Man?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I will visit thee at the lodge.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • That's hereby.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I know where it is situate.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Lord, how wise you are!
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I will tell thee wonders.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • With that face?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I love thee.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • So I heard you say.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • And so, farewell.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Fair weather after you!
  • DULL:

  • Come, Jaquenetta, away!
  • [Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou
  • be pardoned.
  • COSTARD:

  • Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a
  • full stomach.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Thou shalt be heavily punished.
  • COSTARD:

  • I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they
  • are but lightly rewarded.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Take away this villain; shut him up.
  • MOTH:

  • Come, you transgressing slave; away!
  • COSTARD:

  • Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose.
  • MOTH:

  • No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.
  • COSTARD:

  • Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation
  • that I have seen, some shall see.
  • MOTH:

  • What shall some see?
  • COSTARD:

  • Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon.
  • It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their
  • words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank
  • God I have as little patience as another man; and
  • therefore I can be quiet.
  • [Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I do affect the very ground, which is base, where
  • her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which
  • is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which
  • is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And
  • how can that be true love which is falsely
  • attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil:
  • there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so
  • tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was
  • Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit.
  • Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club;
  • and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's rapier.
  • The first and second cause will not serve my turn;
  • the passado he respects not, the duello he regards
  • not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his
  • glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier!
  • be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea,
  • he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme,
  • for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit;
  • write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio.
  • [Exit]

ACT II

ACT II, SCENE I. The same.

[Enter the PRINCESS of France, ROSALINE, MARIA, KATHARINE, BOYET, Lords, and other Attendants]

  • BOYET:

  • Now, madam, summon up your dearest spirits:
  • Consider who the king your father sends,
  • To whom he sends, and what's his embassy:
  • Yourself, held precious in the world's esteem,
  • To parley with the sole inheritor
  • Of all perfections that a man may owe,
  • Matchless Navarre; the plea of no less weight
  • Than Aquitaine, a dowry for a queen.
  • Be now as prodigal of all dear grace
  • As Nature was in making graces dear
  • When she did starve the general world beside
  • And prodigally gave them all to you.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Good Lord Boyet, my beauty, though but mean,
  • Needs not the painted flourish of your praise:
  • Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye,
  • Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues:
  • I am less proud to hear you tell my worth
  • Than you much willing to be counted wise
  • In spending your wit in the praise of mine.
  • But now to task the tasker: good Boyet,
  • You are not ignorant, all-telling fame
  • Doth noise abroad, Navarre hath made a vow,
  • Till painful study shall outwear three years,
  • No woman may approach his silent court:
  • Therefore to's seemeth it a needful course,
  • Before we enter his forbidden gates,
  • To know his pleasure; and in that behalf,
  • Bold of your worthiness, we single you
  • As our best-moving fair solicitor.
  • Tell him, the daughter of the King of France,
  • On serious business, craving quick dispatch,
  • Importunes personal conference with his grace:
  • Haste, signify so much; while we attend,
  • Like humble-visaged suitors, his high will.
  • BOYET:

  • Proud of employment, willingly I go.
  • PRINCESS:

  • All pride is willing pride, and yours is so.
  • [Exit BOYET]

  • Who are the votaries, my loving lords,
  • That are vow-fellows with this virtuous duke?
  • First Lord:

  • Lord Longaville is one.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Know you the man?
  • MARIA:

  • I know him, madam: at a marriage-feast,
  • Between Lord Perigort and the beauteous heir
  • Of Jaques Falconbridge, solemnized
  • In Normandy, saw I this Longaville:
  • A man of sovereign parts he is esteem'd;
  • Well fitted in arts, glorious in arms:
  • Nothing becomes him ill that he would well.
  • The only soil of his fair virtue's gloss,
  • If virtue's gloss will stain with any soil,
  • Is a sharp wit matched with too blunt a will;
  • Whose edge hath power to cut, whose will still wills
  • It should none spare that come within his power.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Some merry mocking lord, belike; is't so?
  • MARIA:

  • They say so most that most his humours know.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Such short-lived wits do wither as they grow.
  • Who are the rest?
  • KATHARINE:

  • The young Dumain, a well-accomplished youth,
  • Of all that virtue love for virtue loved:
  • Most power to do most harm, least knowing ill;
  • For he hath wit to make an ill shape good,
  • And shape to win grace though he had no wit.
  • I saw him at the Duke Alencon's once;
  • And much too little of that good I saw
  • Is my report to his great worthiness.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Another of these students at that time
  • Was there with him, if I have heard a truth.
  • Biron they call him; but a merrier man,
  • Within the limit of becoming mirth,
  • I never spent an hour's talk withal:
  • His eye begets occasion for his wit;
  • For every object that the one doth catch
  • The other turns to a mirth-moving jest,
  • Which his fair tongue, conceit's expositor,
  • Delivers in such apt and gracious words
  • That aged ears play truant at his tales
  • And younger hearings are quite ravished;
  • So sweet and voluble is his discourse.
  • PRINCESS:

  • God bless my ladies! are they all in love,
  • That every one her own hath garnished
  • With such bedecking ornaments of praise?
  • First Lord:

  • Here comes Boyet.
  • [Re-enter BOYET]

  • PRINCESS:

  • Now, what admittance, lord?
  • BOYET:

  • Navarre had notice of your fair approach;
  • And he and his competitors in oath
  • Were all address'd to meet you, gentle lady,
  • Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learnt:
  • He rather means to lodge you in the field,
  • Like one that comes here to besiege his court,
  • Than seek a dispensation for his oath,
  • To let you enter his unpeopled house.
  • Here comes Navarre.
  • [Enter FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, DUMAIN, BIRON, and Attendants]

  • FERDINAND:

  • Fair princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.
  • PRINCESS:

  • 'Fair' I give you back again; and 'welcome' I have
  • not yet: the roof of this court is too high to be
  • yours; and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.
  • FERDINAND:

  • You shall be welcome, madam, to my court.
  • PRINCESS:

  • I will be welcome, then: conduct me thither.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Hear me, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Our Lady help my lord! he'll be forsworn.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Not for the world, fair madam, by my will.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Why, will shall break it; will and nothing else.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise,
  • Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.
  • I hear your grace hath sworn out house-keeping:
  • Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,
  • And sin to break it.
  • But pardon me. I am too sudden-bold:
  • To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.
  • Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,
  • And suddenly resolve me in my suit.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.
  • PRINCESS:

  • You will the sooner, that I were away;
  • For you'll prove perjured if you make me stay.
  • BIRON:

  • Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
  • BIRON:

  • I know you did.
  • ROSALINE:

  • How needless was it then to ask the question!
  • BIRON:

  • You must not be so quick.
  • ROSALINE:

  • 'Tis 'long of you that spur me with such questions.
  • BIRON:

  • Your wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, 'twill tire.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Not till it leave the rider in the mire.
  • BIRON:

  • What time o' day?
  • ROSALINE:

  • The hour that fools should ask.
  • BIRON:

  • Now fair befall your mask!
  • ROSALINE:

  • Fair fall the face it covers!
  • BIRON:

  • And send you many lovers!
  • ROSALINE:

  • Amen, so you be none.
  • BIRON:

  • Nay, then will I be gone.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Madam, your father here doth intimate
  • The payment of a hundred thousand crowns;
  • Being but the one half of an entire sum
  • Disbursed by my father in his wars.
  • But say that he or we, as neither have,
  • Received that sum, yet there remains unpaid
  • A hundred thousand more; in surety of the which,
  • One part of Aquitaine is bound to us,
  • Although not valued to the money's worth.
  • If then the king your father will restore
  • But that one half which is unsatisfied,
  • We will give up our right in Aquitaine,
  • And hold fair friendship with his majesty.
  • But that, it seems, he little purposeth,
  • For here he doth demand to have repaid
  • A hundred thousand crowns; and not demands,
  • On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,
  • To have his title live in Aquitaine;
  • Which we much rather had depart withal
  • And have the money by our father lent
  • Than Aquitaine so gelded as it is.
  • Dear Princess, were not his requests so far
  • From reason's yielding, your fair self should make
  • A yielding 'gainst some reason in my breast
  • And go well satisfied to France again.
  • PRINCESS:

  • You do the king my father too much wrong
  • And wrong the reputation of your name,
  • In so unseeming to confess receipt
  • Of that which hath so faithfully been paid.
  • FERDINAND:

  • I do protest I never heard of it;
  • And if you prove it, I'll repay it back
  • Or yield up Aquitaine.
  • PRINCESS:

  • We arrest your word.
  • Boyet, you can produce acquittances
  • For such a sum from special officers
  • Of Charles his father.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Satisfy me so.
  • BOYET:

  • So please your grace, the packet is not come
  • Where that and other specialties are bound:
  • To-morrow you shall have a sight of them.
  • FERDINAND:

  • It shall suffice me: at which interview
  • All liberal reason I will yield unto.
  • Meantime receive such welcome at my hand
  • As honour without breach of honour may
  • Make tender of to thy true worthiness:
  • You may not come, fair princess, in my gates;
  • But here without you shall be so received
  • As you shall deem yourself lodged in my heart,
  • Though so denied fair harbour in my house.
  • Your own good thoughts excuse me, and farewell:
  • To-morrow shall we visit you again.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Sweet health and fair desires consort your grace!
  • FERDINAND:

  • Thy own wish wish I thee in every place!
  • [Exit]

  • BIRON:

  • Lady, I will commend you to mine own heart.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Pray you, do my commendations; I would be glad to see it.
  • BIRON:

  • I would you heard it groan.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Is the fool sick?
  • BIRON:

  • Sick at the heart.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Alack, let it blood.
  • BIRON:

  • Would that do it good?
  • ROSALINE:

  • My physic says 'ay.'
  • BIRON:

  • Will you prick't with your eye?
  • ROSALINE:

  • No point, with my knife.
  • BIRON:

  • Now, God save thy life!
  • ROSALINE:

  • And yours from long living!
  • BIRON:

  • I cannot stay thanksgiving.
  • [Retiring]

  • DUMAIN:

  • Sir, I pray you, a word: what lady is that same?
  • BOYET:

  • The heir of Alencon, Katharine her name.
  • DUMAIN:

  • A gallant lady. Monsieur, fare you well.
  • [Exit]

  • LONGAVILLE:

  • I beseech you a word: what is she in the white?
  • BOYET:

  • A woman sometimes, an you saw her in the light.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Perchance light in the light. I desire her name.
  • BOYET:

  • She hath but one for herself; to desire that were a shame.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Pray you, sir, whose daughter?
  • BOYET:

  • Her mother's, I have heard.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • God's blessing on your beard!
  • BOYET:

  • Good sir, be not offended.
  • She is an heir of Falconbridge.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Nay, my choler is ended.
  • She is a most sweet lady.
  • BOYET:

  • Not unlike, sir, that may be.
  • [Exit LONGAVILLE]

  • BIRON:

  • What's her name in the cap?
  • BOYET:

  • Rosaline, by good hap.
  • BIRON:

  • Is she wedded or no?
  • BOYET:

  • To her will, sir, or so.
  • BIRON:

  • You are welcome, sir: adieu.
  • BOYET:

  • Farewell to me, sir, and welcome to you.
  • [Exit BIRON]

  • MARIA:

  • That last is Biron, the merry madcap lord:
  • Not a word with him but a jest.
  • BOYET:

  • And every jest but a word.
  • PRINCESS:

  • It was well done of you to take him at his word.
  • BOYET:

  • I was as willing to grapple as he was to board.
  • MARIA:

  • Two hot sheeps, marry.
  • BOYET:

  • And wherefore not ships?
  • No sheep, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.
  • MARIA:

  • You sheep, and I pasture: shall that finish the jest?
  • BOYET:

  • So you grant pasture for me.
  • [Offering to kiss her]

  • MARIA:

  • Not so, gentle beast:
  • My lips are no common, though several they be.
  • BOYET:

  • Belonging to whom?
  • MARIA:

  • To my fortunes and me.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Good wits will be jangling; but, gentles, agree:
  • This civil war of wits were much better used
  • On Navarre and his book-men; for here 'tis abused.
  • BOYET:

  • If my observation, which very seldom lies,
  • By the heart's still rhetoric disclosed with eyes,
  • Deceive me not now, Navarre is infected.
  • PRINCESS:

  • With what?
  • BOYET:

  • With that which we lovers entitle affected.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Your reason?
  • BOYET:

  • Why, all his behaviors did make their retire
  • To the court of his eye, peeping thorough desire:
  • His heart, like an agate, with your print impress'd,
  • Proud with his form, in his eye pride express'd:
  • His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see,
  • Did stumble with haste in his eyesight to be;
  • All senses to that sense did make their repair,
  • To feel only looking on fairest of fair:
  • Methought all his senses were lock'd in his eye,
  • As jewels in crystal for some prince to buy;
  • Who, tendering their own worth from where they were glass'd,
  • Did point you to buy them, along as you pass'd:
  • His face's own margent did quote such amazes
  • That all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes.
  • I'll give you Aquitaine and all that is his,
  • An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Come to our pavilion: Boyet is disposed.
  • BOYET:

  • But to speak that in words which his eye hath
  • disclosed.
  • I only have made a mouth of his eye,
  • By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Thou art an old love-monger and speakest skilfully.
  • MARIA:

  • He is Cupid's grandfather and learns news of him.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Then was Venus like her mother, for her father is but grim.
  • BOYET:

  • Do you hear, my mad wenches?
  • MARIA:

  • No.
  • BOYET:

  • What then, do you see?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Ay, our way to be gone.
  • BOYET:

  • You are too hard for me.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT III

ACT III, SCENE I. The same.

[Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Warble, child; make passionate my sense of hearing.
  • MOTH:

  • Concolinel.
  • Singing
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years; take this key,
  • give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately
  • hither: I must employ him in a letter to my love.
  • MOTH:

  • Master, will you win your love with a French brawl?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • How meanest thou? brawling in French?
  • MOTH:

  • No, my complete master: but to jig off a tune at
  • the tongue's end, canary to it with your feet, humour
  • it with turning up your eyelids, sigh a note and
  • sing a note, sometime through the throat, as if you
  • swallowed love with singing love, sometime through
  • the nose, as if you snuffed up love by smelling
  • love; with your hat penthouse-like o'er the shop of
  • your eyes; with your arms crossed on your thin-belly
  • doublet like a rabbit on a spit; or your hands in
  • your pocket like a man after the old painting; and
  • keep not too long in one tune, but a snip and away.
  • These are complements, these are humours; these
  • betray nice wenches, that would be betrayed without
  • these; and make them men of note--do you note
  • me?--that most are affected to these.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • How hast thou purchased this experience?
  • MOTH:

  • By my penny of observation.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • But O,--but O,--
  • MOTH:

  • 'The hobby-horse is forgot.'
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Callest thou my love 'hobby-horse'?
  • MOTH:

  • No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your
  • love perhaps a hackney. But have you forgot your love?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Almost I had.
  • MOTH:

  • Negligent student! learn her by heart.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • By heart and in heart, boy.
  • MOTH:

  • And out of heart, master: all those three I will prove.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • What wilt thou prove?
  • MOTH:

  • A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon
  • the instant: by heart you love her, because your
  • heart cannot come by her; in heart you love her,
  • because your heart is in love with her; and out of
  • heart you love her, being out of heart that you
  • cannot enjoy her.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I am all these three.
  • MOTH:

  • And three times as much more, and yet nothing at
  • all.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Fetch hither the swain: he must carry me a letter.
  • MOTH:

  • A message well sympathized; a horse to be ambassador
  • for an ass.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Ha, ha! what sayest thou?
  • MOTH:

  • Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse,
  • for he is very slow-gaited. But I go.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The way is but short: away!
  • MOTH:

  • As swift as lead, sir.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The meaning, pretty ingenious?
  • Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?
  • MOTH:

  • Minime, honest master; or rather, master, no.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I say lead is slow.
  • MOTH:

  • You are too swift, sir, to say so:
  • Is that lead slow which is fired from a gun?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sweet smoke of rhetoric!
  • He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's he:
  • I shoot thee at the swain.
  • MOTH:

  • Thump then and I flee.
  • [Exit]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • A most acute juvenal; voluble and free of grace!
  • By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy face:
  • Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place.
  • My herald is return'd.
  • [Re-enter MOTH with COSTARD]

  • MOTH:

  • A wonder, master! here's a costard broken in a shin.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Some enigma, some riddle: come, thy l'envoy; begin.
  • COSTARD:

  • No enigma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the
  • mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain! no
  • l'envoy, no l'envoy; no salve, sir, but a plantain!
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly
  • thought my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes
  • me to ridiculous smiling. O, pardon me, my stars!
  • Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and
  • the word l'envoy for a salve?
  • MOTH:

  • Do the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • No, page: it is an epilogue or discourse, to make plain
  • Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
  • I will example it:
  • The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
  • Were still at odds, being but three.
  • There's the moral. Now the l'envoy.
  • MOTH:

  • I will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
  • Were still at odds, being but three.
  • MOTH:

  • Until the goose came out of door,
  • And stay'd the odds by adding four.
  • Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with
  • my l'envoy.
  • The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
  • Were still at odds, being but three.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Until the goose came out of door,
  • Staying the odds by adding four.
  • MOTH:

  • A good l'envoy, ending in the goose: would you
  • desire more?
  • COSTARD:

  • The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.
  • Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.
  • To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose:
  • Let me see; a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?
  • MOTH:

  • By saying that a costard was broken in a shin.
  • Then call'd you for the l'envoy.
  • COSTARD:

  • True, and I for a plantain: thus came your
  • argument in;
  • Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;
  • And he ended the market.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • But tell me; how was there a costard broken in a shin?
  • MOTH:

  • I will tell you sensibly.
  • COSTARD:

  • Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth: I will speak that l'envoy:
  • I Costard, running out, that was safely within,
  • Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • We will talk no more of this matter.
  • COSTARD:

  • Till there be more matter in the shin.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
  • COSTARD:

  • O, marry me to one Frances: I smell some l'envoy,
  • some goose, in this.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
  • enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured,
  • restrained, captivated, bound.
  • COSTARD:

  • True, true; and now you will be my purgation and let me loose.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and,
  • in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this:
  • bear this significant
  • [Giving a letter]

  • to the country maid Jaquenetta:
  • there is remuneration; for the best ward of mine
  • honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
  • [Exit]

  • MOTH:

  • Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.
  • COSTARD:

  • My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!
  • [Exit MOTH]

  • Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration!
  • O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three
  • farthings--remuneration.--'What's the price of this
  • inkle?'--'One penny.'--'No, I'll give you a
  • remuneration:' why, it carries it. Remuneration!
  • why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will
  • never buy and sell out of this word.
  • [Enter BIRON]

  • BIRON:

  • O, my good knave Costard! exceedingly well met.
  • COSTARD:

  • Pray you, sir, how much carnation ribbon may a man
  • buy for a remuneration?
  • BIRON:

  • What is a remuneration?
  • COSTARD:

  • Marry, sir, halfpenny farthing.
  • BIRON:

  • Why, then, three-farthing worth of silk.
  • COSTARD:

  • I thank your worship: God be wi' you!
  • BIRON:

  • Stay, slave; I must employ thee:
  • As thou wilt win my favour, good my knave,
  • Do one thing for me that I shall entreat.
  • COSTARD:

  • When would you have it done, sir?
  • BIRON:

  • This afternoon.
  • COSTARD:

  • Well, I will do it, sir: fare you well.
  • BIRON:

  • Thou knowest not what it is.
  • COSTARD:

  • I shall know, sir, when I have done it.
  • BIRON:

  • Why, villain, thou must know first.
  • COSTARD:

  • I will come to your worship to-morrow morning.
  • BIRON:

  • It must be done this afternoon.
  • Hark, slave, it is but this:
  • The princess comes to hunt here in the park,
  • And in her train there is a gentle lady;
  • When tongues speak sweetly, then they name her name,
  • And Rosaline they call her: ask for her;
  • And to her white hand see thou do commend
  • This seal'd-up counsel. There's thy guerdon; go.
  • [Giving him a shilling]

  • COSTARD:

  • Gardon, O sweet gardon! better than remuneration,
  • a'leven-pence farthing better: most sweet gardon! I
  • will do it sir, in print. Gardon! Remuneration!
  • [Exit]

  • BIRON:

  • And I, forsooth, in love! I, that have been love's whip;
  • A very beadle to a humorous sigh;
  • A critic, nay, a night-watch constable;
  • A domineering pedant o'er the boy;
  • Than whom no mortal so magnificent!
  • This whimpled, whining, purblind, wayward boy;
  • This senior-junior, giant-dwarf, Dan Cupid;
  • Regent of love-rhymes, lord of folded arms,
  • The anointed sovereign of sighs and groans,
  • Liege of all loiterers and malcontents,
  • Dread prince of plackets, king of codpieces,
  • Sole imperator and great general
  • Of trotting 'paritors:--O my little heart:--
  • And I to be a corporal of his field,
  • And wear his colours like a tumbler's hoop!
  • What, I! I love! I sue! I seek a wife!
  • A woman, that is like a German clock,
  • Still a-repairing, ever out of frame,
  • And never going aright, being a watch,
  • But being watch'd that it may still go right!
  • Nay, to be perjured, which is worst of all;
  • And, among three, to love the worst of all;
  • A wightly wanton with a velvet brow,
  • With two pitch-balls stuck in her face for eyes;
  • Ay, and by heaven, one that will do the deed
  • Though Argus were her eunuch and her guard:
  • And I to sigh for her! to watch for her!
  • To pray for her! Go to; it is a plague
  • That Cupid will impose for my neglect
  • Of his almighty dreadful little might.
  • Well, I will love, write, sigh, pray, sue and groan:
  • Some men must love my lady and some Joan.
  • [Exit]

ACT IV

ACT IV, SCENE I. The same.

[Enter the PRINCESS, and her train, a Forester, BOYET, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHARINE]

  • PRINCESS:

  • Was that the king, that spurred his horse so hard
  • Against the steep uprising of the hill?
  • BOYET:

  • I know not; but I think it was not he.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Whoe'er a' was, a' show'd a mounting mind.
  • Well, lords, to-day we shall have our dispatch:
  • On Saturday we will return to France.
  • Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush
  • That we must stand and play the murderer in?
  • Forester:

  • Hereby, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
  • A stand where you may make the fairest shoot.
  • PRINCESS:

  • I thank my beauty, I am fair that shoot,
  • And thereupon thou speak'st the fairest shoot.
  • Forester:

  • Pardon me, madam, for I meant not so.
  • PRINCESS:

  • What, what? first praise me and again say no?
  • O short-lived pride! Not fair? alack for woe!
  • Forester:

  • Yes, madam, fair.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Nay, never paint me now:
  • Where fair is not, praise cannot mend the brow.
  • Here, good my glass, take this for telling true:
  • Fair payment for foul words is more than due.
  • Forester:

  • Nothing but fair is that which you inherit.
  • PRINCESS:

  • See see, my beauty will be saved by merit!
  • O heresy in fair, fit for these days!
  • A giving hand, though foul, shall have fair praise.
  • But come, the bow: now mercy goes to kill,
  • And shooting well is then accounted ill.
  • Thus will I save my credit in the shoot:
  • Not wounding, pity would not let me do't;
  • If wounding, then it was to show my skill,
  • That more for praise than purpose meant to kill.
  • And out of question so it is sometimes,
  • Glory grows guilty of detested crimes,
  • When, for fame's sake, for praise, an outward part,
  • We bend to that the working of the heart;
  • As I for praise alone now seek to spill
  • The poor deer's blood, that my heart means no ill.
  • BOYET:

  • Do not curst wives hold that self-sovereignty
  • Only for praise sake, when they strive to be
  • Lords o'er their lords?
  • PRINCESS:

  • Only for praise: and praise we may afford
  • To any lady that subdues a lord.
  • BOYET:

  • Here comes a member of the commonwealth.
  • [Enter COSTARD]

  • COSTARD:

  • God dig-you-den all! Pray you, which is the head lady?
  • PRINCESS:

  • Thou shalt know her, fellow, by the rest that have no heads.
  • COSTARD:

  • Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
  • PRINCESS:

  • The thickest and the tallest.
  • COSTARD:

  • The thickest and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
  • An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,
  • One o' these maids' girdles for your waist should be fit.
  • Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here.
  • PRINCESS:

  • What's your will, sir? what's your will?
  • COSTARD:

  • I have a letter from Monsieur Biron to one Lady Rosaline.
  • PRINCESS:

  • O, thy letter, thy letter! he's a good friend of mine:
  • Stand aside, good bearer. Boyet, you can carve;
  • Break up this capon.
  • BOYET:

  • I am bound to serve.
  • This letter is mistook, it importeth none here;
  • It is writ to Jaquenetta.
  • PRINCESS:

  • We will read it, I swear.
  • Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear.
  • [Reads]

  • BOYET:

  • 'By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible;
  • true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that
  • thou art lovely. More fairer than fair, beautiful
  • than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have
  • commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The
  • magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set
  • eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar
  • Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say,
  • Veni, vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the
  • vulgar,--O base and obscure vulgar!--videlicet, He
  • came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw two;
  • overcame, three. Who came? the king: why did he
  • come? to see: why did he see? to overcome: to
  • whom came he? to the beggar: what saw he? the
  • beggar: who overcame he? the beggar. The
  • conclusion is victory: on whose side? the king's.
  • The captive is enriched: on whose side? the
  • beggar's. The catastrophe is a nuptial: on whose
  • side? the king's: no, on both in one, or one in
  • both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison:
  • thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness.
  • Shall I command thy love? I may: shall I enforce
  • thy love? I could: shall I entreat thy love? I
  • will. What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes;
  • for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus,
  • expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot,
  • my eyes on thy picture. and my heart on thy every
  • part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
  • Thus dost thou hear the Nemean lion roar
  • 'Gainst thee, thou lamb, that standest as his prey.
  • Submissive fall his princely feet before,
  • And he from forage will incline to play:
  • But if thou strive, poor soul, what art thou then?
  • Food for his rage, repasture for his den.
  • PRINCESS:

  • What plume of feathers is he that indited this letter?
  • What vane? what weathercock? did you ever hear better?
  • BOYET:

  • I am much deceived but I remember the style.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Else your memory is bad, going o'er it erewhile.
  • BOYET:

  • This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;
  • A phantasime, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport
  • To the prince and his bookmates.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Thou fellow, a word:
  • Who gave thee this letter?
  • COSTARD:

  • I told you; my lord.
  • PRINCESS:

  • To whom shouldst thou give it?
  • COSTARD:

  • From my lord to my lady.
  • PRINCESS:

  • From which lord to which lady?
  • COSTARD:

  • From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
  • To a lady of France that he call'd Rosaline.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away.
  • [To ROSALINE]

  • Here, sweet, put up this: 'twill be thine another day.
  • [Exeunt PRINCESS and train]

  • BOYET:

  • Who is the suitor? who is the suitor?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Shall I teach you to know?
  • BOYET:

  • Ay, my continent of beauty.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Why, she that bears the bow.
  • Finely put off!
  • BOYET:

  • My lady goes to kill horns; but, if thou marry,
  • Hang me by the neck, if horns that year miscarry.
  • Finely put on!
  • ROSALINE:

  • Well, then, I am the shooter.
  • BOYET:

  • And who is your deer?
  • ROSALINE:

  • If we choose by the horns, yourself come not near.
  • Finely put on, indeed!
  • MARIA:

  • You still wrangle with her, Boyet, and she strikes
  • at the brow.
  • BOYET:

  • But she herself is hit lower: have I hit her now?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Shall I come upon thee with an old saying, that was
  • a man when King Pepin of France was a little boy, as
  • touching the hit it?
  • BOYET:

  • So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a
  • woman when Queen Guinover of Britain was a little
  • wench, as touching the hit it.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,
  • Thou canst not hit it, my good man.
  • BOYET:

  • An I cannot, cannot, cannot,
  • An I cannot, another can.
  • [Exeunt ROSALINE and KATHARINE]

  • COSTARD:

  • By my troth, most pleasant: how both did fit it!
  • MARIA:

  • A mark marvellous well shot, for they both did hit it.
  • BOYET:

  • A mark! O, mark but that mark! A mark, says my lady!
  • Let the mark have a prick in't, to mete at, if it may be.
  • MARIA:

  • Wide o' the bow hand! i' faith, your hand is out.
  • COSTARD:

  • Indeed, a' must shoot nearer, or he'll ne'er hit the clout.
  • BOYET:

  • An if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.
  • COSTARD:

  • Then will she get the upshoot by cleaving the pin.
  • MARIA:

  • Come, come, you talk greasily; your lips grow foul.
  • COSTARD:

  • She's too hard for you at pricks, sir: challenge her to bowl.
  • BOYET:

  • I fear too much rubbing. Good night, my good owl.
  • [Exeunt BOYET and MARIA]

  • COSTARD:

  • By my soul, a swain! a most simple clown!
  • Lord, Lord, how the ladies and I have put him down!
  • O' my troth, most sweet jests! most incony
  • vulgar wit!
  • When it comes so smoothly off, so obscenely, as it
  • were, so fit.
  • Armado o' th' one side,--O, a most dainty man!
  • To see him walk before a lady and to bear her fan!
  • To see him kiss his hand! and how most sweetly a'
  • will swear!
  • And his page o' t' other side, that handful of wit!
  • Ah, heavens, it is a most pathetical nit!
  • Sola, sola!
  • [Shout within]

  • [Exit COSTARD, running]

ACT IV, SCENE II. The same.

[Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL]

  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Very reverend sport, truly; and done in the testimony
  • of a good conscience.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • The deer was, as you know, sanguis, in blood; ripe
  • as the pomewater, who now hangeth like a jewel in
  • the ear of caelo, the sky, the welkin, the heaven;
  • and anon falleth like a crab on the face of terra,
  • the soil, the land, the earth.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Truly, Master Holofernes, the epithets are sweetly
  • varied, like a scholar at the least: but, sir, I
  • assure ye, it was a buck of the first head.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
  • DULL:

  • 'Twas not a haud credo; 'twas a pricket.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Most barbarous intimation! yet a kind of
  • insinuation, as it were, in via, in way, of
  • explication; facere, as it were, replication, or
  • rather, ostentare, to show, as it were, his
  • inclination, after his undressed, unpolished,
  • uneducated, unpruned, untrained, or rather,
  • unlettered, or ratherest, unconfirmed fashion, to
  • insert again my haud credo for a deer.
  • DULL:

  • I said the deer was not a haud credo; twas a pricket.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Twice-sod simplicity, his coctus!
  • O thou monster Ignorance, how deformed dost thou look!
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Sir, he hath never fed of the dainties that are bred
  • in a book; he hath not eat paper, as it were; he
  • hath not drunk ink: his intellect is not
  • replenished; he is only an animal, only sensible in
  • the duller parts:
  • And such barren plants are set before us, that we
  • thankful should be,
  • Which we of taste and feeling are, for those parts that
  • do fructify in us more than he.
  • For as it would ill become me to be vain, indiscreet, or a fool,
  • So were there a patch set on learning, to see him in a school:
  • But omne bene, say I; being of an old father's mind,
  • Many can brook the weather that love not the wind.
  • DULL:

  • You two are book-men: can you tell me by your wit
  • What was a month old at Cain's birth, that's not five
  • weeks old as yet?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Dictynna, goodman Dull; Dictynna, goodman Dull.
  • DULL:

  • What is Dictynna?
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • A title to Phoebe, to Luna, to the moon.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • The moon was a month old when Adam was no more,
  • And raught not to five weeks when he came to
  • five-score.
  • The allusion holds in the exchange.
  • DULL:

  • 'Tis true indeed; the collusion holds in the exchange.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • God comfort thy capacity! I say, the allusion holds
  • in the exchange.
  • DULL:

  • And I say, the pollusion holds in the exchange; for
  • the moon is never but a month old: and I say beside
  • that, 'twas a pricket that the princess killed.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Sir Nathaniel, will you hear an extemporal epitaph
  • on the death of the deer? And, to humour the
  • ignorant, call I the deer the princess killed a pricket.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Perge, good Master Holofernes, perge; so it shall
  • please you to abrogate scurrility.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I will something affect the letter, for it argues facility.
  • The preyful princess pierced and prick'd a pretty
  • pleasing pricket;
  • Some say a sore; but not a sore, till now made
  • sore with shooting.
  • The dogs did yell: put L to sore, then sorel jumps
  • from thicket;
  • Or pricket sore, or else sorel; the people fall a-hooting.
  • If sore be sore, then L to sore makes fifty sores
  • one sorel.
  • Of one sore I an hundred make by adding but one more L.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • A rare talent!
  • DULL:

  • [Aside]

  • If a talent be a claw, look how he claws
  • him with a talent.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • This is a gift that I have, simple, simple; a
  • foolish extravagant spirit, full of forms, figures,
  • shapes, objects, ideas, apprehensions, motions,
  • revolutions: these are begot in the ventricle of
  • memory, nourished in the womb of pia mater, and
  • delivered upon the mellowing of occasion. But the
  • gift is good in those in whom it is acute, and I am
  • thankful for it.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Sir, I praise the Lord for you; and so may my
  • parishioners; for their sons are well tutored by
  • you, and their daughters profit very greatly under
  • you: you are a good member of the commonwealth.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Mehercle, if their sons be ingenuous, they shall
  • want no instruction; if their daughters be capable,
  • I will put it to them: but vir sapit qui pauca
  • loquitur; a soul feminine saluteth us.
  • [Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD]

  • JAQUENETTA:

  • God give you good morrow, master Parson.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Master Parson, quasi pers-on. An if one should be
  • pierced, which is the one?
  • COSTARD:

  • Marry, master schoolmaster, he that is likest to a hogshead.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Piercing a hogshead! a good lustre of conceit in a
  • tuft of earth; fire enough for a flint, pearl enough
  • for a swine: 'tis pretty; it is well.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Good master Parson, be so good as read me this
  • letter: it was given me by Costard, and sent me
  • from Don Armado: I beseech you, read it.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Fauste, precor gelida quando pecus omne sub umbra
  • Ruminat,--and so forth. Ah, good old Mantuan! I
  • may speak of thee as the traveller doth of Venice;
  • Venetia, Venetia,
  • Chi non ti vede non ti pretia.
  • Old Mantuan, old Mantuan! who understandeth thee
  • not, loves thee not. Ut, re, sol, la, mi, fa.
  • Under pardon, sir, what are the contents? or rather,
  • as Horace says in his--What, my soul, verses?
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Ay, sir, and very learned.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Let me hear a staff, a stanze, a verse; lege, domine.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • [Reads]

  • If love make me forsworn, how shall I swear to love?
  • Ah, never faith could hold, if not to beauty vow'd!
  • Though to myself forsworn, to thee I'll faithful prove:
  • Those thoughts to me were oaks, to thee like
  • osiers bow'd.
  • Study his bias leaves and makes his book thine eyes,
  • Where all those pleasures live that art would
  • comprehend:
  • If knowledge be the mark, to know thee shall suffice;
  • Well learned is that tongue that well can thee commend,
  • All ignorant that soul that sees thee without wonder;
  • Which is to me some praise that I thy parts admire:
  • Thy eye Jove's lightning bears, thy voice his dreadful thunder,
  • Which not to anger bent, is music and sweet fire.
  • Celestial as thou art, O, pardon, love, this wrong,
  • That sings heaven's praise with such an earthly tongue.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • You find not the apostraphas, and so miss the
  • accent: let me supervise the canzonet. Here are
  • only numbers ratified; but, for the elegancy,
  • facility, and golden cadence of poesy, caret.
  • Ovidius Naso was the man: and why, indeed, Naso,
  • but for smelling out the odouriferous flowers of
  • fancy, the jerks of invention? Imitari is nothing:
  • so doth the hound his master, the ape his keeper,
  • the tired horse his rider. But, damosella virgin,
  • was this directed to you?
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Ay, sir, from one Monsieur Biron, one of the strange
  • queen's lords.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I will overglance the superscript: 'To the
  • snow-white hand of the most beauteous Lady
  • Rosaline.' I will look again on the intellect of
  • the letter, for the nomination of the party writing
  • to the person written unto: 'Your ladyship's in all
  • desired employment, BIRON.' Sir Nathaniel, this
  • Biron is one of the votaries with the king; and here
  • he hath framed a letter to a sequent of the stranger
  • queen's, which accidentally, or by the way of
  • progression, hath miscarried. Trip and go, my
  • sweet; deliver this paper into the royal hand of the
  • king: it may concern much. Stay not thy
  • compliment; I forgive thy duty; adieu.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Good Costard, go with me. Sir, God save your life!
  • COSTARD:

  • Have with thee, my girl.
  • [Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTA]

  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Sir, you have done this in the fear of God, very
  • religiously; and, as a certain father saith,--
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Sir tell me not of the father; I do fear colourable
  • colours. But to return to the verses: did they
  • please you, Sir Nathaniel?
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Marvellous well for the pen.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I do dine to-day at the father's of a certain pupil
  • of mine; where, if, before repast, it shall please
  • you to gratify the table with a grace, I will, on my
  • privilege I have with the parents of the foresaid
  • child or pupil, undertake your ben venuto; where I
  • will prove those verses to be very unlearned,
  • neither savouring of poetry, wit, nor invention: I
  • beseech your society.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • And thank you too; for society, saith the text, is
  • the happiness of life.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • And, certes, the text most infallibly concludes it.
  • [To DULL]

  • Sir, I do invite you too; you shall not
  • say me nay: pauca verba. Away! the gentles are at
  • their game, and we will to our recreation.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT IV, SCENE III. The same.

[Enter BIRON, with a paper]

  • BIRON:

  • The king he is hunting the deer; I am coursing
  • myself: they have pitched a toil; I am toiling in
  • a pitch,--pitch that defiles: defile! a foul
  • word. Well, set thee down, sorrow! for so they say
  • the fool said, and so say I, and I the fool: well
  • proved, wit! By the Lord, this love is as mad as
  • Ajax: it kills sheep; it kills me, I a sheep:
  • well proved again o' my side! I will not love: if
  • I do, hang me; i' faith, I will not. O, but her
  • eye,--by this light, but for her eye, I would not
  • love her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I do nothing
  • in the world but lie, and lie in my throat. By
  • heaven, I do love: and it hath taught me to rhyme
  • and to be melancholy; and here is part of my rhyme,
  • and here my melancholy. Well, she hath one o' my
  • sonnets already: the clown bore it, the fool sent
  • it, and the lady hath it: sweet clown, sweeter
  • fool, sweetest lady! By the world, I would not care
  • a pin, if the other three were in. Here comes one
  • with a paper: God give him grace to groan!
  • [Stands aside]

  • [Enter FERDINAND, with a paper]

  • FERDINAND:

  • Ay me!
  • BIRON:

  • [Aside]

  • Shot, by heaven! Proceed, sweet Cupid:
  • thou hast thumped him with thy bird-bolt under the
  • left pap. In faith, secrets!
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Reads]

  • So sweet a kiss the golden sun gives not
  • To those fresh morning drops upon the rose,
  • As thy eye-beams, when their fresh rays have smote
  • The night of dew that on my cheeks down flows:
  • Nor shines the silver moon one half so bright
  • Through the transparent bosom of the deep,
  • As doth thy face through tears of mine give light;
  • Thou shinest in every tear that I do weep:
  • No drop but as a coach doth carry thee;
  • So ridest thou triumphing in my woe.
  • Do but behold the tears that swell in me,
  • And they thy glory through my grief will show:
  • But do not love thyself; then thou wilt keep
  • My tears for glasses, and still make me weep.
  • O queen of queens! how far dost thou excel,
  • No thought can think, nor tongue of mortal tell.
  • How shall she know my griefs? I'll drop the paper:
  • Sweet leaves, shade folly. Who is he comes here?
  • [Steps aside]

  • What, Longaville! and reading! listen, ear.
  • BIRON:

  • Now, in thy likeness, one more fool appear!
  • [Enter LONGAVILLE, with a paper]

  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Ay me, I am forsworn!
  • BIRON:

  • Why, he comes in like a perjure, wearing papers.
  • FERDINAND:

  • In love, I hope: sweet fellowship in shame!
  • BIRON:

  • One drunkard loves another of the name.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Am I the first that have been perjured so?
  • BIRON:

  • I could put thee in comfort. Not by two that I know:
  • Thou makest the triumviry, the corner-cap of society,
  • The shape of Love's Tyburn that hangs up simplicity.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • I fear these stubborn lines lack power to move:
  • O sweet Maria, empress of my love!
  • These numbers will I tear, and write in prose.
  • BIRON:

  • O, rhymes are guards on wanton Cupid's hose:
  • Disfigure not his slop.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • This same shall go.
  • [Reads]

  • Did not the heavenly rhetoric of thine eye,
  • 'Gainst whom the world cannot hold argument,
  • Persuade my heart to this false perjury?
  • Vows for thee broke deserve not punishment.
  • A woman I forswore; but I will prove,
  • Thou being a goddess, I forswore not thee:
  • My vow was earthly, thou a heavenly love;
  • Thy grace being gain'd cures all disgrace in me.
  • Vows are but breath, and breath a vapour is:
  • Then thou, fair sun, which on my earth dost shine,
  • Exhalest this vapour-vow; in thee it is:
  • If broken then, it is no fault of mine:
  • If by me broke, what fool is not so wise
  • To lose an oath to win a paradise?
  • BIRON:

  • This is the liver-vein, which makes flesh a deity,
  • A green goose a goddess: pure, pure idolatry.
  • God amend us, God amend! we are much out o' the way.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • By whom shall I send this?--Company! stay.
  • [Steps aside]

  • BIRON:

  • All hid, all hid; an old infant play.
  • Like a demigod here sit I in the sky.
  • And wretched fools' secrets heedfully o'ereye.
  • More sacks to the mill! O heavens, I have my wish!
  • [Enter DUMAIN, with a paper]

  • Dumain transform'd! four woodcocks in a dish!
  • DUMAIN:

  • O most divine Kate!
  • BIRON:

  • O most profane coxcomb!
  • DUMAIN:

  • By heaven, the wonder in a mortal eye!
  • BIRON:

  • By earth, she is not, corporal, there you lie.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Her amber hair for foul hath amber quoted.
  • BIRON:

  • An amber-colour'd raven was well noted.
  • DUMAIN:

  • As upright as the cedar.
  • BIRON:

  • Stoop, I say;
  • Her shoulder is with child.
  • DUMAIN:

  • As fair as day.
  • BIRON:

  • Ay, as some days; but then no sun must shine.
  • DUMAIN:

  • O that I had my wish!
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • And I had mine!
  • FERDINAND:

  • And I mine too, good Lord!
  • BIRON:

  • Amen, so I had mine: is not that a good word?
  • DUMAIN:

  • I would forget her; but a fever she
  • Reigns in my blood and will remember'd be.
  • BIRON:

  • A fever in your blood! why, then incision
  • Would let her out in saucers: sweet misprision!
  • DUMAIN:

  • Once more I'll read the ode that I have writ.
  • BIRON:

  • Once more I'll mark how love can vary wit.
  • DUMAIN:

  • [Reads]

  • On a day--alack the day!--
  • Love, whose month is ever May,
  • Spied a blossom passing fair
  • Playing in the wanton air:
  • Through the velvet leaves the wind,
  • All unseen, can passage find;
  • That the lover, sick to death,
  • Wish himself the heaven's breath.
  • Air, quoth he, thy cheeks may blow;
  • Air, would I might triumph so!
  • But, alack, my hand is sworn
  • Ne'er to pluck thee from thy thorn;
  • Vow, alack, for youth unmeet,
  • Youth so apt to pluck a sweet!
  • Do not call it sin in me,
  • That I am forsworn for thee;
  • Thou for whom Jove would swear
  • Juno but an Ethiope were;
  • And deny himself for Jove,
  • Turning mortal for thy love.
  • This will I send, and something else more plain,
  • That shall express my true love's fasting pain.
  • O, would the king, Biron, and Longaville,
  • Were lovers too! Ill, to example ill,
  • Would from my forehead wipe a perjured note;
  • For none offend where all alike do dote.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • [Advancing]

  • Dumain, thy love is far from charity.
  • You may look pale, but I should blush, I know,
  • To be o'erheard and taken napping so.
  • FERDINAND:

  • [Advancing]

  • Come, sir, you blush; as his your case is such;
  • You chide at him, offending twice as much;
  • You do not love Maria; Longaville
  • Did never sonnet for her sake compile,
  • Nor never lay his wreathed arms athwart
  • His loving bosom to keep down his heart.
  • I have been closely shrouded in this bush
  • And mark'd you both and for you both did blush:
  • I heard your guilty rhymes, observed your fashion,
  • Saw sighs reek from you, noted well your passion:
  • Ay me! says one; O Jove! the other cries;
  • One, her hairs were gold, crystal the other's eyes:
  • [To LONGAVILLE]

  • You would for paradise break faith, and troth;
  • [To DUMAIN]

  • And Jove, for your love, would infringe an oath.
  • What will Biron say when that he shall hear
  • Faith so infringed, which such zeal did swear?
  • How will he scorn! how will he spend his wit!
  • How will he triumph, leap and laugh at it!
  • For all the wealth that ever I did see,
  • I would not have him know so much by me.
  • BIRON:

  • Now step I forth to whip hypocrisy.
  • [Advancing]

  • Ah, good my liege, I pray thee, pardon me!
  • Good heart, what grace hast thou, thus to reprove
  • These worms for loving, that art most in love?
  • Your eyes do make no coaches; in your tears
  • There is no certain princess that appears;
  • You'll not be perjured, 'tis a hateful thing;
  • Tush, none but minstrels like of sonneting!
  • But are you not ashamed? nay, are you not,
  • All three of you, to be thus much o'ershot?
  • You found his mote; the king your mote did see;
  • But I a beam do find in each of three.
  • O, what a scene of foolery have I seen,
  • Of sighs, of groans, of sorrow and of teen!
  • O me, with what strict patience have I sat,
  • To see a king transformed to a gnat!
  • To see great Hercules whipping a gig,
  • And profound Solomon to tune a jig,
  • And Nestor play at push-pin with the boys,
  • And critic Timon laugh at idle toys!
  • Where lies thy grief, O, tell me, good Dumain?
  • And gentle Longaville, where lies thy pain?
  • And where my liege's? all about the breast:
  • A caudle, ho!
  • FERDINAND:

  • Too bitter is thy jest.
  • Are we betray'd thus to thy over-view?
  • BIRON:

  • Not you to me, but I betray'd by you:
  • I, that am honest; I, that hold it sin
  • To break the vow I am engaged in;
  • I am betray'd, by keeping company
  • With men like men of inconstancy.
  • When shall you see me write a thing in rhyme?
  • Or groan for love? or spend a minute's time
  • In pruning me? When shall you hear that I
  • Will praise a hand, a foot, a face, an eye,
  • A gait, a state, a brow, a breast, a waist,
  • A leg, a limb?
  • FERDINAND:

  • Soft! whither away so fast?
  • A true man or a thief that gallops so?
  • BIRON:

  • I post from love: good lover, let me go.
  • [Enter JAQUENETTA and COSTARD]

  • JAQUENETTA:

  • God bless the king!
  • FERDINAND:

  • What present hast thou there?
  • COSTARD:

  • Some certain treason.
  • FERDINAND:

  • What makes treason here?
  • COSTARD:

  • Nay, it makes nothing, sir.
  • FERDINAND:

  • If it mar nothing neither,
  • The treason and you go in peace away together.
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • I beseech your grace, let this letter be read:
  • Our parson misdoubts it; 'twas treason, he said.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Biron, read it over.
  • [Giving him the paper]

  • Where hadst thou it?
  • JAQUENETTA:

  • Of Costard.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Where hadst thou it?
  • COSTARD:

  • Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
  • [BIRON tears the letter]

  • FERDINAND:

  • How now! what is in you? why dost thou tear it?
  • BIRON:

  • A toy, my liege, a toy: your grace needs not fear it.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • It did move him to passion, and therefore let's hear it.
  • DUMAIN:

  • It is Biron's writing, and here is his name.
  • [Gathering up the pieces]

  • BIRON:

  • [To COSTARD]

  • Ah, you whoreson loggerhead! you were
  • born to do me shame.
  • Guilty, my lord, guilty! I confess, I confess.
  • FERDINAND:

  • What?
  • BIRON:

  • That you three fools lack'd me fool to make up the mess:
  • He, he, and you, and you, my liege, and I,
  • Are pick-purses in love, and we deserve to die.
  • O, dismiss this audience, and I shall tell you more.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Now the number is even.
  • BIRON:

  • True, true; we are four.
  • Will these turtles be gone?
  • FERDINAND:

  • Hence, sirs; away!
  • COSTARD:

  • Walk aside the true folk, and let the traitors stay.
  • [Exeunt COSTARD and JAQUENETTA]

  • BIRON:

  • Sweet lords, sweet lovers, O, let us embrace!
  • As true we are as flesh and blood can be:
  • The sea will ebb and flow, heaven show his face;
  • Young blood doth not obey an old decree:
  • We cannot cross the cause why we were born;
  • Therefore of all hands must we be forsworn.
  • FERDINAND:

  • What, did these rent lines show some love of thine?
  • BIRON:

  • Did they, quoth you? Who sees the heavenly Rosaline,
  • That, like a rude and savage man of Inde,
  • At the first opening of the gorgeous east,
  • Bows not his vassal head and strucken blind
  • Kisses the base ground with obedient breast?
  • What peremptory eagle-sighted eye
  • Dares look upon the heaven of her brow,
  • That is not blinded by her majesty?
  • FERDINAND:

  • What zeal, what fury hath inspired thee now?
  • My love, her mistress, is a gracious moon;
  • She an attending star, scarce seen a light.
  • BIRON:

  • My eyes are then no eyes, nor I Biron:
  • O, but for my love, day would turn to night!
  • Of all complexions the cull'd sovereignty
  • Do meet, as at a fair, in her fair cheek,
  • Where several worthies make one dignity,
  • Where nothing wants that want itself doth seek.
  • Lend me the flourish of all gentle tongues,--
  • Fie, painted rhetoric! O, she needs it not:
  • To things of sale a seller's praise belongs,
  • She passes praise; then praise too short doth blot.
  • A wither'd hermit, five-score winters worn,
  • Might shake off fifty, looking in her eye:
  • Beauty doth varnish age, as if new-born,
  • And gives the crutch the cradle's infancy:
  • O, 'tis the sun that maketh all things shine.
  • FERDINAND:

  • By heaven, thy love is black as ebony.
  • BIRON:

  • Is ebony like her? O wood divine!
  • A wife of such wood were felicity.
  • O, who can give an oath? where is a book?
  • That I may swear beauty doth beauty lack,
  • If that she learn not of her eye to look:
  • No face is fair that is not full so black.
  • FERDINAND:

  • O paradox! Black is the badge of hell,
  • The hue of dungeons and the suit of night;
  • And beauty's crest becomes the heavens well.
  • BIRON:

  • Devils soonest tempt, resembling spirits of light.
  • O, if in black my lady's brows be deck'd,
  • It mourns that painting and usurping hair
  • Should ravish doters with a false aspect;
  • And therefore is she born to make black fair.
  • Her favour turns the fashion of the days,
  • For native blood is counted painting now;
  • And therefore red, that would avoid dispraise,
  • Paints itself black, to imitate her brow.
  • DUMAIN:

  • To look like her are chimney-sweepers black.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • And since her time are colliers counted bright.
  • FERDINAND:

  • And Ethiopes of their sweet complexion crack.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Dark needs no candles now, for dark is light.
  • BIRON:

  • Your mistresses dare never come in rain,
  • For fear their colours should be wash'd away.
  • FERDINAND:

  • 'Twere good, yours did; for, sir, to tell you plain,
  • I'll find a fairer face not wash'd to-day.
  • BIRON:

  • I'll prove her fair, or talk till doomsday here.
  • FERDINAND:

  • No devil will fright thee then so much as she.
  • DUMAIN:

  • I never knew man hold vile stuff so dear.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Look, here's thy love: my foot and her face see.
  • BIRON:

  • O, if the streets were paved with thine eyes,
  • Her feet were much too dainty for such tread!
  • DUMAIN:

  • O, vile! then, as she goes, what upward lies
  • The street should see as she walk'd overhead.
  • FERDINAND:

  • But what of this? are we not all in love?
  • BIRON:

  • Nothing so sure; and thereby all forsworn.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Then leave this chat; and, good Biron, now prove
  • Our loving lawful, and our faith not torn.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Ay, marry, there; some flattery for this evil.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • O, some authority how to proceed;
  • Some tricks, some quillets, how to cheat the devil.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Some salve for perjury.
  • BIRON:

  • 'Tis more than need.
  • Have at you, then, affection's men at arms.
  • Consider what you first did swear unto,
  • To fast, to study, and to see no woman;
  • Flat treason 'gainst the kingly state of youth.
  • Say, can you fast? your stomachs are too young;
  • And abstinence engenders maladies.
  • And where that you have vow'd to study, lords,
  • In that each of you have forsworn his book,
  • Can you still dream and pore and thereon look?
  • For when would you, my lord, or you, or you,
  • Have found the ground of study's excellence
  • Without the beauty of a woman's face?
  • From women's eyes this doctrine I derive;
  • They are the ground, the books, the academes
  • From whence doth spring the true Promethean fire
  • Why, universal plodding poisons up
  • The nimble spirits in the arteries,
  • As motion and long-during action tires
  • The sinewy vigour of the traveller.
  • Now, for not looking on a woman's face,
  • You have in that forsworn the use of eyes
  • And study too, the causer of your vow;
  • For where is any author in the world
  • Teaches such beauty as a woman's eye?
  • Learning is but an adjunct to ourself
  • And where we are our learning likewise is:
  • Then when ourselves we see in ladies' eyes,
  • Do we not likewise see our learning there?
  • O, we have made a vow to study, lords,
  • And in that vow we have forsworn our books.
  • For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,
  • In leaden contemplation have found out
  • Such fiery numbers as the prompting eyes
  • Of beauty's tutors have enrich'd you with?
  • Other slow arts entirely keep the brain;
  • And therefore, finding barren practisers,
  • Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil:
  • But love, first learned in a lady's eyes,
  • Lives not alone immured in the brain;
  • But, with the motion of all elements,
  • Courses as swift as thought in every power,
  • And gives to every power a double power,
  • Above their functions and their offices.
  • It adds a precious seeing to the eye;
  • A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind;
  • A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound,
  • When the suspicious head of theft is stopp'd:
  • Love's feeling is more soft and sensible
  • Than are the tender horns of cockl'd snails;
  • Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross in taste:
  • For valour, is not Love a Hercules,
  • Still climbing trees in the Hesperides?
  • Subtle as Sphinx; as sweet and musical
  • As bright Apollo's lute, strung with his hair:
  • And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
  • Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.
  • Never durst poet touch a pen to write
  • Until his ink were temper'd with Love's sighs;
  • O, then his lines would ravish savage ears
  • And plant in tyrants mild humility.
  • From women's eyes this doctrine I derive:
  • They sparkle still the right Promethean fire;
  • They are the books, the arts, the academes,
  • That show, contain and nourish all the world:
  • Else none at all in ought proves excellent.
  • Then fools you were these women to forswear,
  • Or keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools.
  • For wisdom's sake, a word that all men love,
  • Or for love's sake, a word that loves all men,
  • Or for men's sake, the authors of these women,
  • Or women's sake, by whom we men are men,
  • Let us once lose our oaths to find ourselves,
  • Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.
  • It is religion to be thus forsworn,
  • For charity itself fulfills the law,
  • And who can sever love from charity?
  • FERDINAND:

  • Saint Cupid, then! and, soldiers, to the field!
  • BIRON:

  • Advance your standards, and upon them, lords;
  • Pell-mell, down with them! but be first advised,
  • In conflict that you get the sun of them.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Now to plain-dealing; lay these glozes by:
  • Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
  • FERDINAND:

  • And win them too: therefore let us devise
  • Some entertainment for them in their tents.
  • BIRON:

  • First, from the park let us conduct them thither;
  • Then homeward every man attach the hand
  • Of his fair mistress: in the afternoon
  • We will with some strange pastime solace them,
  • Such as the shortness of the time can shape;
  • For revels, dances, masks and merry hours
  • Forerun fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Away, away! no time shall be omitted
  • That will betime, and may by us be fitted.
  • BIRON:

  • Allons! allons! Sow'd cockle reap'd no corn;
  • And justice always whirls in equal measure:
  • Light wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn;
  • If so, our copper buys no better treasure.
  • [Exeunt]

ACT V

ACT V, SCENE I. The same.

[Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, and DULL]

  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Satis quod sufficit.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • I praise God for you, sir: your reasons at dinner
  • have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without
  • scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without
  • impudency, learned without opinion, and strange with-
  • out heresy. I did converse this quondam day with
  • a companion of the king's, who is intituled, nomi-
  • nated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Novi hominem tanquam te: his humour is lofty, his
  • discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye
  • ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general
  • behavior vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is
  • too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it
  • were, too peregrinate, as I may call it.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • A most singular and choice epithet.
  • [Draws out his table-book]

  • HOLOFERNES:

  • He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer
  • than the staple of his argument. I abhor such
  • fanatical phantasimes, such insociable and
  • point-devise companions; such rackers of
  • orthography, as to speak dout, fine, when he should
  • say doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt,--d,
  • e, b, t, not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf;
  • half, hauf; neighbour vocatur nebor; neigh
  • abbreviated ne. This is abhominable,--which he
  • would call abbominable: it insinuateth me of
  • insanie: anne intelligis, domine? to make frantic, lunatic.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Laus Deo, bene intelligo.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Bon, bon, fort bon, Priscian! a little scratch'd,
  • 'twill serve.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Videsne quis venit?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Video, et gaudeo.
  • [Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO, MOTH, and COSTARD]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Chirrah!
  • [To MOTH]

  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Quare chirrah, not sirrah?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Men of peace, well encountered.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Most military sir, salutation.
  • MOTH:

  • [Aside to COSTARD]

  • They have been at a great feast
  • of languages, and stolen the scraps.
  • COSTARD:

  • O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
  • I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
  • for thou art not so long by the head as
  • honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier
  • swallowed than a flap-dragon.
  • MOTH:

  • Peace! the peal begins.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • [To HOLOFERNES]

  • Monsieur, are you not lettered?
  • MOTH:

  • Yes, yes; he teaches boys the hornbook. What is a,
  • b, spelt backward, with the horn on his head?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
  • MOTH:

  • Ba, most silly sheep with a horn. You hear his learning.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Quis, quis, thou consonant?
  • MOTH:

  • The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or
  • the fifth, if I.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I will repeat them,--a, e, i,--
  • MOTH:

  • The sheep: the other two concludes it,--o, u.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet
  • touch, a quick venue of wit! snip, snap, quick and
  • home! it rejoiceth my intellect: true wit!
  • MOTH:

  • Offered by a child to an old man; which is wit-old.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • What is the figure? what is the figure?
  • MOTH:

  • Horns.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy gig.
  • MOTH:

  • Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about
  • your infamy circum circa,--a gig of a cuckold's horn.
  • COSTARD:

  • An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst
  • have it to buy gingerbread: hold, there is the very
  • remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny
  • purse of wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion. O, an
  • the heavens were so pleased that thou wert but my
  • bastard, what a joyful father wouldst thou make me!
  • Go to; thou hast it ad dunghill, at the fingers'
  • ends, as they say.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • O, I smell false Latin; dunghill for unguem.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Arts-man, preambulate, we will be singled from the
  • barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the
  • charge-house on the top of the mountain?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Or mons, the hill.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I do, sans question.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and
  • affection to congratulate the princess at her
  • pavilion in the posteriors of this day, which the
  • rude multitude call the afternoon.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is
  • liable, congruent and measurable for the afternoon:
  • the word is well culled, chose, sweet and apt, I do
  • assure you, sir, I do assure.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my familiar,
  • I do assure ye, very good friend: for what is
  • inward between us, let it pass. I do beseech thee,
  • remember thy courtesy; I beseech thee, apparel thy
  • head: and among other important and most serious
  • designs, and of great import indeed, too, but let
  • that pass: for I must tell thee, it will please his
  • grace, by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor
  • shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus, dally
  • with my excrement, with my mustachio; but, sweet
  • heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no
  • fable: some certain special honours it pleaseth his
  • greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of
  • travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass.
  • The very all of all is,--but, sweet heart, I do
  • implore secrecy,--that the king would have me
  • present the princess, sweet chuck, with some
  • delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or
  • antique, or firework. Now, understanding that the
  • curate and your sweet self are good at such
  • eruptions and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it
  • were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to
  • crave your assistance.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies.
  • Sir, as concerning some entertainment of time, some
  • show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by
  • our assistants, at the king's command, and this most
  • gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before
  • the princess; I say none so fit as to present the
  • Nine Worthies.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Joshua, yourself; myself and this gallant gentleman,
  • Judas Maccabaeus; this swain, because of his great
  • limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the Great; the
  • page, Hercules,--
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Pardon, sir; error: he is not quantity enough for
  • that Worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in
  • minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a
  • snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
  • MOTH:

  • An excellent device! so, if any of the audience
  • hiss, you may cry 'Well done, Hercules! now thou
  • crushest the snake!' that is the way to make an
  • offence gracious, though few have the grace to do it.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • For the rest of the Worthies?--
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I will play three myself.
  • MOTH:

  • Thrice-worthy gentleman!
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Shall I tell you a thing?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • We attend.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • We will have, if this fadge not, an antique. I
  • beseech you, follow.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while.
  • DULL:

  • Nor understood none neither, sir.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Allons! we will employ thee.
  • DULL:

  • I'll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play
  • On the tabour to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Most dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away!
  • [Exeunt]

ACT V, SCENE II. The same.

[Enter the PRINCESS, KATHARINE, ROSALINE, and MARIA]

  • PRINCESS:

  • Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
  • If fairings come thus plentifully in:
  • A lady wall'd about with diamonds!
  • Look you what I have from the loving king.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Madame, came nothing else along with that?
  • PRINCESS:

  • Nothing but this! yes, as much love in rhyme
  • As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
  • Writ o' both sides the leaf, margent and all,
  • That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
  • ROSALINE:

  • That was the way to make his godhead wax,
  • For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
  • ROSALINE:

  • You'll ne'er be friends with him; a' kill'd your sister.
  • KATHARINE:

  • He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy;
  • And so she died: had she been light, like you,
  • Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
  • She might ha' been a grandam ere she died:
  • And so may you; for a light heart lives long.
  • ROSALINE:

  • What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word?
  • KATHARINE:

  • A light condition in a beauty dark.
  • ROSALINE:

  • We need more light to find your meaning out.
  • KATHARINE:

  • You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff;
  • Therefore I'll darkly end the argument.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Look what you do, you do it still i' the dark.
  • KATHARINE:

  • So do not you, for you are a light wench.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Indeed I weigh not you, and therefore light.
  • KATHARINE:

  • You weigh me not? O, that's you care not for me.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Great reason; for 'past cure is still past care.'
  • PRINCESS:

  • Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd.
  • But Rosaline, you have a favour too:
  • Who sent it? and what is it?
  • ROSALINE:

  • I would you knew:
  • An if my face were but as fair as yours,
  • My favour were as great; be witness this.
  • Nay, I have verses too, I thank Biron:
  • The numbers true; and, were the numbering too,
  • I were the fairest goddess on the ground:
  • I am compared to twenty thousand fairs.
  • O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
  • PRINCESS:

  • Any thing like?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Much in the letters; nothing in the praise.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Beauteous as ink; a good conclusion.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Fair as a text B in a copy-book.
  • ROSALINE:

  • 'Ware pencils, ho! let me not die your debtor,
  • My red dominical, my golden letter:
  • O, that your face were not so full of O's!
  • KATHARINE:

  • A pox of that jest! and I beshrew all shrows.
  • PRINCESS:

  • But, Katharine, what was sent to you from fair Dumain?
  • KATHARINE:

  • Madam, this glove.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Did he not send you twain?
  • KATHARINE:

  • Yes, madam, and moreover
  • Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
  • A huge translation of hypocrisy,
  • Vilely compiled, profound simplicity.
  • MARIA:

  • This and these pearls to me sent Longaville:
  • The letter is too long by half a mile.
  • PRINCESS:

  • I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
  • The chain were longer and the letter short?
  • MARIA:

  • Ay, or I would these hands might never part.
  • PRINCESS:

  • We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
  • ROSALINE:

  • They are worse fools to purchase mocking so.
  • That same Biron I'll torture ere I go:
  • O that I knew he were but in by the week!
  • How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
  • And wait the season and observe the times
  • And spend his prodigal wits in bootless rhymes
  • And shape his service wholly to my hests
  • And make him proud to make me proud that jests!
  • So perttaunt-like would I o'ersway his state
  • That he should be my fool and I his fate.
  • PRINCESS:

  • None are so surely caught, when they are catch'd,
  • As wit turn'd fool: folly, in wisdom hatch'd,
  • Hath wisdom's warrant and the help of school
  • And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
  • ROSALINE:

  • The blood of youth burns not with such excess
  • As gravity's revolt to wantonness.
  • MARIA:

  • Folly in fools bears not so strong a note
  • As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote;
  • Since all the power thereof it doth apply
  • To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Here comes Boyet, and mirth is in his face.
  • [Enter BOYET]

  • BOYET:

  • O, I am stabb'd with laughter! Where's her grace?
  • PRINCESS:

  • Thy news Boyet?
  • BOYET:

  • Prepare, madam, prepare!
  • Arm, wenches, arm! encounters mounted are
  • Against your peace: Love doth approach disguised,
  • Armed in arguments; you'll be surprised:
  • Muster your wits; stand in your own defence;
  • Or hide your heads like cowards, and fly hence.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Saint Denis to Saint Cupid! What are they
  • That charge their breath against us? say, scout, say.
  • BOYET:

  • Under the cool shade of a sycamore
  • I thought to close mine eyes some half an hour;
  • When, lo! to interrupt my purposed rest,
  • Toward that shade I might behold addrest
  • The king and his companions: warily
  • I stole into a neighbour thicket by,
  • And overheard what you shall overhear,
  • That, by and by, disguised they will be here.
  • Their herald is a pretty knavish page,
  • That well by heart hath conn'd his embassage:
  • Action and accent did they teach him there;
  • 'Thus must thou speak,' and 'thus thy body bear:'
  • And ever and anon they made a doubt
  • Presence majestical would put him out,
  • 'For,' quoth the king, 'an angel shalt thou see;
  • Yet fear not thou, but speak audaciously.'
  • The boy replied, 'An angel is not evil;
  • I should have fear'd her had she been a devil.'
  • With that, all laugh'd and clapp'd him on the shoulder,
  • Making the bold wag by their praises bolder:
  • One rubb'd his elbow thus, and fleer'd and swore
  • A better speech was never spoke before;
  • Another, with his finger and his thumb,
  • Cried, 'Via! we will do't, come what will come;'
  • The third he caper'd, and cried, 'All goes well;'
  • The fourth turn'd on the toe, and down he fell.
  • With that, they all did tumble on the ground,
  • With such a zealous laughter, so profound,
  • That in this spleen ridiculous appears,
  • To cheque their folly, passion's solemn tears.
  • PRINCESS:

  • But what, but what, come they to visit us?
  • BOYET:

  • They do, they do: and are apparell'd thus.
  • Like Muscovites or Russians, as I guess.
  • Their purpose is to parle, to court and dance;
  • And every one his love-feat will advance
  • Unto his several mistress, which they'll know
  • By favours several which they did bestow.
  • PRINCESS:

  • And will they so? the gallants shall be task'd;
  • For, ladies, we shall every one be mask'd;
  • And not a man of them shall have the grace,
  • Despite of suit, to see a lady's face.
  • Hold, Rosaline, this favour thou shalt wear,
  • And then the king will court thee for his dear;
  • Hold, take thou this, my sweet, and give me thine,
  • So shall Biron take me for Rosaline.
  • And change your favours too; so shall your loves
  • Woo contrary, deceived by these removes.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Come on, then; wear the favours most in sight.
  • KATHARINE:

  • But in this changing what is your intent?
  • PRINCESS:

  • The effect of my intent is to cross theirs:
  • They do it but in mocking merriment;
  • And mock for mock is only my intent.
  • Their several counsels they unbosom shall
  • To loves mistook, and so be mock'd withal
  • Upon the next occasion that we meet,
  • With visages displayed, to talk and greet.
  • ROSALINE:

  • But shall we dance, if they desire to't?
  • PRINCESS:

  • No, to the death, we will not move a foot;
  • Nor to their penn'd speech render we no grace,
  • But while 'tis spoke each turn away her face.
  • BOYET:

  • Why, that contempt will kill the speaker's heart,
  • And quite divorce his memory from his part.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Therefore I do it; and I make no doubt
  • The rest will ne'er come in, if he be out
  • There's no such sport as sport by sport o'erthrown,
  • To make theirs ours and ours none but our own:
  • So shall we stay, mocking intended game,
  • And they, well mock'd, depart away with shame.
  • [Trumpets sound within]

  • BOYET:

  • The trumpet sounds: be mask'd; the maskers come.
  • The Ladies mask
  • [Enter Blackamoors with music; MOTH; FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in Russian habits, and masked]

  • MOTH:

  • All hail, the richest beauties on the earth!--
  • BOYET:

  • Beauties no richer than rich taffeta.
  • MOTH:

  • A holy parcel of the fairest dames.
  • [The Ladies turn their backs to him]

  • That ever turn'd their--backs--to mortal views!
  • BIRON:

  • [Aside to MOTH]

  • Their eyes, villain, their eyes!
  • MOTH:

  • That ever turn'd their eyes to mortal views!--Out--
  • BOYET:

  • True; out indeed.
  • MOTH:

  • Out of your favours, heavenly spirits, vouchsafe
  • Not to behold--
  • BIRON:

  • [Aside to MOTH]

  • Once to behold, rogue.
  • MOTH:

  • Once to behold with your sun-beamed eyes,
  • --with your sun-beamed eyes--
  • BOYET:

  • They will not answer to that epithet;
  • You were best call it 'daughter-beamed eyes.'
  • MOTH:

  • They do not mark me, and that brings me out.
  • BIRON:

  • Is this your perfectness? be gone, you rogue!
  • [Exit MOTH]

  • ROSALINE:

  • What would these strangers? know their minds, Boyet:
  • If they do speak our language, 'tis our will:
  • That some plain man recount their purposes
  • Know what they would.
  • BOYET:

  • What would you with the princess?
  • BIRON:

  • Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
  • ROSALINE:

  • What would they, say they?
  • BOYET:

  • Nothing but peace and gentle visitation.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Why, that they have; and bid them so be gone.
  • BOYET:

  • She says, you have it, and you may be gone.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Say to her, we have measured many miles
  • To tread a measure with her on this grass.
  • BOYET:

  • They say, that they have measured many a mile
  • To tread a measure with you on this grass.
  • ROSALINE:

  • It is not so. Ask them how many inches
  • Is in one mile: if they have measured many,
  • The measure then of one is easily told.
  • BOYET:

  • If to come hither you have measured miles,
  • And many miles, the princess bids you tell
  • How many inches doth fill up one mile.
  • BIRON:

  • Tell her, we measure them by weary steps.
  • BOYET:

  • She hears herself.
  • ROSALINE:

  • How many weary steps,
  • Of many weary miles you have o'ergone,
  • Are number'd in the travel of one mile?
  • BIRON:

  • We number nothing that we spend for you:
  • Our duty is so rich, so infinite,
  • That we may do it still without accompt.
  • Vouchsafe to show the sunshine of your face,
  • That we, like savages, may worship it.
  • ROSALINE:

  • My face is but a moon, and clouded too.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Blessed are clouds, to do as such clouds do!
  • Vouchsafe, bright moon, and these thy stars, to shine,
  • Those clouds removed, upon our watery eyne.
  • ROSALINE:

  • O vain petitioner! beg a greater matter;
  • Thou now request'st but moonshine in the water.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Then, in our measure do but vouchsafe one change.
  • Thou bid'st me beg: this begging is not strange.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Play, music, then! Nay, you must do it soon.
  • Music plays
  • Not yet! no dance! Thus change I like the moon.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Will you not dance? How come you thus estranged?
  • ROSALINE:

  • You took the moon at full, but now she's changed.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Yet still she is the moon, and I the man.
  • The music plays; vouchsafe some motion to it.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Our ears vouchsafe it.
  • FERDINAND:

  • But your legs should do it.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Since you are strangers and come here by chance,
  • We'll not be nice: take hands. We will not dance.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Why take we hands, then?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Only to part friends:
  • Curtsy, sweet hearts; and so the measure ends.
  • FERDINAND:

  • More measure of this measure; be not nice.
  • ROSALINE:

  • We can afford no more at such a price.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Prize you yourselves: what buys your company?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Your absence only.
  • FERDINAND:

  • That can never be.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Then cannot we be bought: and so, adieu;
  • Twice to your visor, and half once to you.
  • FERDINAND:

  • If you deny to dance, let's hold more chat.
  • ROSALINE:

  • In private, then.
  • FERDINAND:

  • I am best pleased with that.
  • [They converse apart]

  • BIRON:

  • White-handed mistress, one sweet word with thee.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Honey, and milk, and sugar; there is three.
  • BIRON:

  • Nay then, two treys, and if you grow so nice,
  • Metheglin, wort, and malmsey: well run, dice!
  • There's half-a-dozen sweets.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Seventh sweet, adieu:
  • Since you can cog, I'll play no more with you.
  • BIRON:

  • One word in secret.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Let it not be sweet.
  • BIRON:

  • Thou grievest my gall.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Gall! bitter.
  • BIRON:

  • Therefore meet.
  • They converse apart
  • DUMAIN:

  • Will you vouchsafe with me to change a word?
  • MARIA:

  • Name it.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Fair lady,--
  • MARIA:

  • Say you so? Fair lord,--
  • Take that for your fair lady.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Please it you,
  • As much in private, and I'll bid adieu.
  • They converse apart
  • KATHARINE:

  • What, was your vizard made without a tongue?
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • I know the reason, lady, why you ask.
  • KATHARINE:

  • O for your reason! quickly, sir; I long.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • You have a double tongue within your mask,
  • And would afford my speechless vizard half.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Veal, quoth the Dutchman. Is not 'veal' a calf?
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • A calf, fair lady!
  • KATHARINE:

  • No, a fair lord calf.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Let's part the word.
  • KATHARINE:

  • No, I'll not be your half
  • Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Look, how you butt yourself in these sharp mocks!
  • Will you give horns, chaste lady? do not so.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Then die a calf, before your horns do grow.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • One word in private with you, ere I die.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Bleat softly then; the butcher hears you cry.
  • They converse apart
  • BOYET:

  • The tongues of mocking wenches are as keen
  • As is the razor's edge invisible,
  • Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen,
  • Above the sense of sense; so sensible
  • Seemeth their conference; their conceits have wings
  • Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter things.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Not one word more, my maids; break off, break off.
  • BIRON:

  • By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure scoff!
  • FERDINAND:

  • Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple wits.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovits.
  • [Exeunt FERDINAND, Lords, and Blackamoors]

  • Are these the breed of wits so wonder'd at?
  • BOYET:

  • Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths puff'd out.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; fat, fat.
  • PRINCESS:

  • O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout!
  • Will they not, think you, hang themselves tonight?
  • Or ever, but in vizards, show their faces?
  • This pert Biron was out of countenance quite.
  • ROSALINE:

  • O, they were all in lamentable cases!
  • The king was weeping-ripe for a good word.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Biron did swear himself out of all suit.
  • MARIA:

  • Dumain was at my service, and his sword:
  • No point, quoth I; my servant straight was mute.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his heart;
  • And trow you what he called me?
  • PRINCESS:

  • Qualm, perhaps.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Yes, in good faith.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Go, sickness as thou art!
  • ROSALINE:

  • Well, better wits have worn plain statute-caps.
  • But will you hear? the king is my love sworn.
  • PRINCESS:

  • And quick Biron hath plighted faith to me.
  • KATHARINE:

  • And Longaville was for my service born.
  • MARIA:

  • Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree.
  • BOYET:

  • Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear:
  • Immediately they will again be here
  • In their own shapes; for it can never be
  • They will digest this harsh indignity.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Will they return?
  • BOYET:

  • They will, they will, God knows,
  • And leap for joy, though they are lame with blows:
  • Therefore change favours; and, when they repair,
  • Blow like sweet roses in this summer air.
  • PRINCESS:

  • How blow? how blow? speak to be understood.
  • BOYET:

  • Fair ladies mask'd are roses in their bud;
  • Dismask'd, their damask sweet commixture shown,
  • Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do,
  • If they return in their own shapes to woo?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Good madam, if by me you'll be advised,
  • Let's, mock them still, as well known as disguised:
  • Let us complain to them what fools were here,
  • Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear;
  • And wonder what they were and to what end
  • Their shallow shows and prologue vilely penn'd
  • And their rough carriage so ridiculous,
  • Should be presented at our tent to us.
  • BOYET:

  • Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Whip to our tents, as roes run o'er land.
  • [Exeunt PRINCESS, ROSALINE, KATHARINE, and MARIA]

  • [Re-enter FERDINAND, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN, in their proper habits]

  • FERDINAND:

  • Fair sir, God save you! Where's the princess?
  • BOYET:

  • Gone to her tent. Please it your majesty
  • Command me any service to her thither?
  • FERDINAND:

  • That she vouchsafe me audience for one word.
  • BOYET:

  • I will; and so will she, I know, my lord.
  • [Exit]

  • BIRON:

  • This fellow pecks up wit as pigeons pease,
  • And utters it again when God doth please:
  • He is wit's pedler, and retails his wares
  • At wakes and wassails, meetings, markets, fairs;
  • And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know,
  • Have not the grace to grace it with such show.
  • This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve;
  • Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve;
  • A' can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he
  • That kiss'd his hand away in courtesy;
  • This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice,
  • That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice
  • In honourable terms: nay, he can sing
  • A mean most meanly; and in ushering
  • Mend him who can: the ladies call him sweet;
  • The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet:
  • This is the flower that smiles on every one,
  • To show his teeth as white as whale's bone;
  • And consciences, that will not die in debt,
  • Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet.
  • FERDINAND:

  • A blister on his sweet tongue, with my heart,
  • That put Armado's page out of his part!
  • BIRON:

  • See where it comes! Behavior, what wert thou
  • Till this madman show'd thee? and what art thou now?
  • [Re-enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BOYET, ROSALINE, MARIA, and KATHARINE]

  • FERDINAND:

  • All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of day!
  • PRINCESS:

  • 'Fair' in 'all hail' is foul, as I conceive.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Construe my speeches better, if you may.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Then wish me better; I will give you leave.
  • FERDINAND:

  • We came to visit you, and purpose now
  • To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it then.
  • PRINCESS:

  • This field shall hold me; and so hold your vow:
  • Nor God, nor I, delights in perjured men.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Rebuke me not for that which you provoke:
  • The virtue of your eye must break my oath.
  • PRINCESS:

  • You nickname virtue; vice you should have spoke;
  • For virtue's office never breaks men's troth.
  • Now by my maiden honour, yet as pure
  • As the unsullied lily, I protest,
  • A world of torments though I should endure,
  • I would not yield to be your house's guest;
  • So much I hate a breaking cause to be
  • Of heavenly oaths, vow'd with integrity.
  • FERDINAND:

  • O, you have lived in desolation here,
  • Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Not so, my lord; it is not so, I swear;
  • We have had pastimes here and pleasant game:
  • A mess of Russians left us but of late.
  • FERDINAND:

  • How, madam! Russians!
  • PRINCESS:

  • Ay, in truth, my lord;
  • Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Madam, speak true. It is not so, my lord:
  • My lady, to the manner of the days,
  • In courtesy gives undeserving praise.
  • We four indeed confronted were with four
  • In Russian habit: here they stay'd an hour,
  • And talk'd apace; and in that hour, my lord,
  • They did not bless us with one happy word.
  • I dare not call them fools; but this I think,
  • When they are thirsty, fools would fain have drink.
  • BIRON:

  • This jest is dry to me. Fair gentle sweet,
  • Your wit makes wise things foolish: when we greet,
  • With eyes best seeing, heaven's fiery eye,
  • By light we lose light: your capacity
  • Is of that nature that to your huge store
  • Wise things seem foolish and rich things but poor.
  • ROSALINE:

  • This proves you wise and rich, for in my eye,--
  • BIRON:

  • I am a fool, and full of poverty.
  • ROSALINE:

  • But that you take what doth to you belong,
  • It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue.
  • BIRON:

  • O, I am yours, and all that I possess!
  • ROSALINE:

  • All the fool mine?
  • BIRON:

  • I cannot give you less.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Which of the vizards was it that you wore?
  • BIRON:

  • Where? when? what vizard? why demand you this?
  • ROSALINE:

  • There, then, that vizard; that superfluous case
  • That hid the worse and show'd the better face.
  • FERDINAND:

  • We are descried; they'll mock us now downright.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Let us confess and turn it to a jest.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Amazed, my lord? why looks your highness sad?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Help, hold his brows! he'll swoon! Why look you pale?
  • Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy.
  • BIRON:

  • Thus pour the stars down plagues for perjury.
  • Can any face of brass hold longer out?
  • Here stand I:

  • lady, dart thy skill at me;
  • Bruise me with scorn, confound me with a flout;
  • Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my ignorance;
  • Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit;
  • And I will wish thee never more to dance,
  • Nor never more in Russian habit wait.
  • O, never will I trust to speeches penn'd,
  • Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue,
  • Nor never come in vizard to my friend,
  • Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song!
  • Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,
  • Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation,
  • Figures pedantical; these summer-flies
  • Have blown me full of maggot ostentation:
  • I do forswear them; and I here protest,
  • By this white glove;--how white the hand, God knows!--
  • Henceforth my wooing mind shall be express'd
  • In russet yeas and honest kersey noes:
  • And, to begin, wench,--so God help me, la!--
  • My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Sans sans, I pray you.
  • BIRON:

  • Yet I have a trick
  • Of the old rage: bear with me, I am sick;
  • I'll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see:
  • Write, 'Lord have mercy on us' on those three;
  • They are infected; in their hearts it lies;
  • They have the plague, and caught it of your eyes;
  • These lords are visited; you are not free,
  • For the Lord's tokens on you do I see.
  • PRINCESS:

  • No, they are free that gave these tokens to us.
  • BIRON:

  • Our states are forfeit: seek not to undo us.
  • ROSALINE:

  • It is not so; for how can this be true,
  • That you stand forfeit, being those that sue?
  • BIRON:

  • Peace! for I will not have to do with you.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Nor shall not, if I do as I intend.
  • BIRON:

  • Speak for yourselves; my wit is at an end.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude transgression
  • Some fair excuse.
  • PRINCESS:

  • The fairest is confession.
  • Were not you here but even now disguised?
  • FERDINAND:

  • Madam, I was.
  • PRINCESS:

  • And were you well advised?
  • FERDINAND:

  • I was, fair madam.
  • PRINCESS:

  • When you then were here,
  • What did you whisper in your lady's ear?
  • FERDINAND:

  • That more than all the world I did respect her.
  • PRINCESS:

  • When she shall challenge this, you will reject her.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Upon mine honour, no.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Peace, peace! forbear:
  • Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Despise me, when I break this oath of mine.
  • PRINCESS:

  • I will: and therefore keep it. Rosaline,
  • What did the Russian whisper in your ear?
  • ROSALINE:

  • Madam, he swore that he did hold me dear
  • As precious eyesight, and did value me
  • Above this world; adding thereto moreover
  • That he would wed me, or else die my lover.
  • PRINCESS:

  • God give thee joy of him! the noble lord
  • Most honourably doth unhold his word.
  • FERDINAND:

  • What mean you, madam? by my life, my troth,
  • I never swore this lady such an oath.
  • ROSALINE:

  • By heaven, you did; and to confirm it plain,
  • You gave me this: but take it, sir, again.
  • FERDINAND:

  • My faith and this the princess I did give:
  • I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear;
  • And Lord Biron, I thank him, is my dear.
  • What, will you have me, or your pearl again?
  • BIRON:

  • Neither of either; I remit both twain.
  • I see the trick on't: here was a consent,
  • Knowing aforehand of our merriment,
  • To dash it like a Christmas comedy:
  • Some carry-tale, some please-man, some slight zany,
  • Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some Dick,
  • That smiles his cheek in years and knows the trick
  • To make my lady laugh when she's disposed,
  • Told our intents before; which once disclosed,
  • The ladies did change favours: and then we,
  • Following the signs, woo'd but the sign of she.
  • Now, to our perjury to add more terror,
  • We are again forsworn, in will and error.
  • Much upon this it is: and might not you
  • [To BOYET]

  • Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue?
  • Do not you know my lady's foot by the squier,
  • And laugh upon the apple of her eye?
  • And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,
  • Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?
  • You put our page out: go, you are allow'd;
  • Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud.
  • You leer upon me, do you? there's an eye
  • Wounds like a leaden sword.
  • BOYET:

  • Full merrily
  • Hath this brave manage, this career, been run.
  • BIRON:

  • Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace! I have done.
  • [Enter COSTARD]

  • Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray.
  • COSTARD:

  • O Lord, sir, they would know
  • Whether the three Worthies shall come in or no.
  • BIRON:

  • What, are there but three?
  • COSTARD:

  • No, sir; but it is vara fine,
  • For every one pursents three.
  • BIRON:

  • And three times thrice is nine.
  • COSTARD:

  • Not so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope it is not so.
  • You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir we know
  • what we know:
  • I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir,--
  • BIRON:

  • Is not nine.
  • COSTARD:

  • Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil it doth amount.
  • BIRON:

  • By Jove, I always took three threes for nine.
  • COSTARD:

  • O Lord, sir, it were pity you should get your living
  • by reckoning, sir.
  • BIRON:

  • How much is it?
  • COSTARD:

  • O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the actors,
  • sir, will show whereuntil it doth amount: for mine
  • own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect one man
  • in one poor man, Pompion the Great, sir.
  • BIRON:

  • Art thou one of the Worthies?
  • COSTARD:

  • It pleased them to think me worthy of Pompion the
  • Great: for mine own part, I know not the degree of
  • the Worthy, but I am to stand for him.
  • BIRON:

  • Go, bid them prepare.
  • COSTARD:

  • We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take
  • some care.
  • [Exit]

  • FERDINAND:

  • Biron, they will shame us: let them not approach.
  • BIRON:

  • We are shame-proof, my lord: and tis some policy
  • To have one show worse than the king's and his company.
  • FERDINAND:

  • I say they shall not come.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Nay, my good lord, let me o'errule you now:
  • That sport best pleases that doth least know how:
  • Where zeal strives to content, and the contents
  • Dies in the zeal of that which it presents:
  • Their form confounded makes most form in mirth,
  • When great things labouring perish in their birth.
  • BIRON:

  • A right description of our sport, my lord.
  • [Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Anointed, I implore so much expense of thy royal
  • sweet breath as will utter a brace of words.
  • [Converses apart with FERDINAND, and delivers him a paper]

  • PRINCESS:

  • Doth this man serve God?
  • BIRON:

  • Why ask you?
  • PRINCESS:

  • He speaks not like a man of God's making.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • That is all one, my fair, sweet, honey monarch; for,
  • I protest, the schoolmaster is exceeding
  • fantastical; too, too vain, too too vain: but we
  • will put it, as they say, to fortuna de la guerra.
  • I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement!
  • [Exit]

  • FERDINAND:

  • Here is like to be a good presence of Worthies. He
  • presents Hector of Troy; the swain, Pompey the
  • Great; the parish curate, Alexander; Armado's page,
  • Hercules; the pedant, Judas Maccabaeus: And if
  • these four Worthies in their first show thrive,
  • These four will change habits, and present the other five.
  • BIRON:

  • There is five in the first show.
  • FERDINAND:

  • You are deceived; 'tis not so.
  • BIRON:

  • The pedant, the braggart, the hedge-priest, the fool
  • and the boy:--
  • Abate throw at novum, and the whole world again
  • Cannot pick out five such, take each one in his vein.
  • FERDINAND:

  • The ship is under sail, and here she comes amain.
  • [Enter COSTARD, for Pompey]

  • COSTARD:

  • I Pompey am,--
  • BOYET:

  • You lie, you are not he.
  • COSTARD:

  • I Pompey am,--
  • BOYET:

  • With libbard's head on knee.
  • BIRON:

  • Well said, old mocker: I must needs be friends
  • with thee.
  • COSTARD:

  • I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the Big--
  • DUMAIN:

  • The Great.
  • COSTARD:

  • It is, 'Great,' sir:--
  • Pompey surnamed the Great;
  • That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make
  • my foe to sweat:
  • And travelling along this coast, I here am come by chance,
  • And lay my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of France,
  • If your ladyship would say, 'Thanks, Pompey,' I had done.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Great thanks, great Pompey.
  • COSTARD:

  • 'Tis not so much worth; but I hope I was perfect: I
  • made a little fault in 'Great.'
  • BIRON:

  • My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves the best Worthy.
  • [Enter SIR NATHANIEL, for Alexander]

  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • When in the world I lived, I was the world's
  • commander;
  • By east, west, north, and south, I spread my
  • conquering might:
  • My scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander,--
  • BOYET:

  • Your nose says, no, you are not for it stands too right.
  • BIRON:

  • Your nose smells 'no' in this, most tender-smelling knight.
  • PRINCESS:

  • The conqueror is dismay'd. Proceed, good Alexander.
  • SIR NATHANIEL:

  • When in the world I lived, I was the world's
  • commander,--
  • BOYET:

  • Most true, 'tis right; you were so, Alisander.
  • BIRON:

  • Pompey the Great,--
  • COSTARD:

  • Your servant, and Costard.
  • BIRON:

  • Take away the conqueror, take away Alisander.
  • COSTARD:

  • [To SIR NATHANIEL]

  • O, sir, you have overthrown
  • Alisander the conqueror! You will be scraped out of
  • the painted cloth for this: your lion, that holds
  • his poll-axe sitting on a close-stool, will be given
  • to Ajax: he will be the ninth Worthy. A conqueror,
  • and afeard to speak! run away for shame, Alisander.
  • [SIR NATHANIEL retires]

  • There, an't shall please you; a foolish mild man; an
  • honest man, look you, and soon dashed. He is a
  • marvellous good neighbour, faith, and a very good
  • bowler: but, for Alisander,--alas, you see how
  • 'tis,--a little o'erparted. But there are Worthies
  • a-coming will speak their mind in some other sort.
  • [Enter HOLOFERNES, for Judas; and MOTH, for Hercules]

  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Great Hercules is presented by this imp,
  • Whose club kill'd Cerberus, that three-headed canis;
  • And when he was a babe, a child, a shrimp,
  • Thus did he strangle serpents in his manus.
  • Quoniam he seemeth in minority,
  • Ergo I come with this apology.
  • Keep some state in thy exit, and vanish.
  • [MOTH retires]

  • Judas I am,--
  • DUMAIN:

  • A Judas!
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Not Iscariot, sir.
  • Judas I am, ycliped Maccabaeus.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Judas Maccabaeus clipt is plain Judas.
  • BIRON:

  • A kissing traitor. How art thou proved Judas?
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Judas I am,--
  • DUMAIN:

  • The more shame for you, Judas.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • What mean you, sir?
  • BOYET:

  • To make Judas hang himself.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • Begin, sir; you are my elder.
  • BIRON:

  • Well followed: Judas was hanged on an elder.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • I will not be put out of countenance.
  • BIRON:

  • Because thou hast no face.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • What is this?
  • BOYET:

  • A cittern-head.
  • DUMAIN:

  • The head of a bodkin.
  • BIRON:

  • A Death's face in a ring.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • The face of an old Roman coin, scarce seen.
  • BOYET:

  • The pommel of Caesar's falchion.
  • DUMAIN:

  • The carved-bone face on a flask.
  • BIRON:

  • Saint George's half-cheek in a brooch.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Ay, and in a brooch of lead.
  • BIRON:

  • Ay, and worn in the cap of a tooth-drawer.
  • And now forward; for we have put thee in countenance.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • You have put me out of countenance.
  • BIRON:

  • False; we have given thee faces.
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • But you have out-faced them all.
  • BIRON:

  • An thou wert a lion, we would do so.
  • BOYET:

  • Therefore, as he is an ass, let him go.
  • And so adieu, sweet Jude! nay, why dost thou stay?
  • DUMAIN:

  • For the latter end of his name.
  • BIRON:

  • For the ass to the Jude; give it him:--Jud-as, away!
  • HOLOFERNES:

  • This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
  • BOYET:

  • A light for Monsieur Judas! it grows dark, he may stumble.
  • [HOLOFERNES retires]

  • PRINCESS:

  • Alas, poor Maccabaeus, how hath he been baited!
  • [Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO, for Hector]

  • BIRON:

  • Hide thy head, Achilles: here comes Hector in arms.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Though my mocks come home by me, I will now be merry.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Hector was but a Troyan in respect of this.
  • BOYET:

  • But is this Hector?
  • FERDINAND:

  • I think Hector was not so clean-timbered.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • His leg is too big for Hector's.
  • DUMAIN:

  • More calf, certain.
  • BOYET:

  • No; he is best endued in the small.
  • BIRON:

  • This cannot be Hector.
  • DUMAIN:

  • He's a god or a painter; for he makes faces.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty,
  • Gave Hector a gift,--
  • DUMAIN:

  • A gilt nutmeg.
  • BIRON:

  • A lemon.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • Stuck with cloves.
  • DUMAIN:

  • No, cloven.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Peace!--
  • The armipotent Mars, of lances the almighty
  • Gave Hector a gift, the heir of Ilion;
  • A man so breathed, that certain he would fight; yea
  • From morn till night, out of his pavilion.
  • I am that flower,--
  • DUMAIN:

  • That mint.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • That columbine.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sweet Lord Longaville, rein thy tongue.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • I must rather give it the rein, for it runs against Hector.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Ay, and Hector's a greyhound.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The sweet war-man is dead and rotten; sweet chucks,
  • beat not the bones of the buried: when he breathed,
  • he was a man. But I will forward with my device.
  • [To the PRINCESS]

  • Sweet royalty, bestow on me the sense of hearing.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Speak, brave Hector: we are much delighted.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I do adore thy sweet grace's slipper.
  • BOYET:

  • [Aside to DUMAIN]

  • Loves her by the foot,--
  • DUMAIN:

  • [Aside to BOYET]

  • He may not by the yard.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • This Hector far surmounted Hannibal,--
  • COSTARD:

  • The party is gone, fellow Hector, she is gone; she
  • is two months on her way.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • What meanest thou?
  • COSTARD:

  • Faith, unless you play the honest Troyan, the poor
  • wench is cast away: she's quick; the child brags in
  • her belly already: tis yours.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Dost thou infamonize me among potentates? thou shalt
  • die.
  • COSTARD:

  • Then shall Hector be whipped for Jaquenetta that is
  • quick by him and hanged for Pompey that is dead by
  • him.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Most rare Pompey!
  • BOYET:

  • Renowned Pompey!
  • BIRON:

  • Greater than great, great, great, great Pompey!
  • Pompey the Huge!
  • DUMAIN:

  • Hector trembles.
  • BIRON:

  • Pompey is moved. More Ates, more Ates! stir them
  • on! stir them on!
  • DUMAIN:

  • Hector will challenge him.
  • BIRON:

  • Ay, if a' have no man's blood in's belly than will
  • sup a flea.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • By the north pole, I do challenge thee.
  • COSTARD:

  • I will not fight with a pole, like a northern man:
  • I'll slash; I'll do it by the sword. I bepray you,
  • let me borrow my arms again.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Room for the incensed Worthies!
  • COSTARD:

  • I'll do it in my shirt.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Most resolute Pompey!
  • MOTH:

  • Master, let me take you a buttonhole lower. Do you
  • not see Pompey is uncasing for the combat? What mean
  • you? You will lose your reputation.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Gentlemen and soldiers, pardon me; I will not combat
  • in my shirt.
  • DUMAIN:

  • You may not deny it: Pompey hath made the challenge.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sweet bloods, I both may and will.
  • BIRON:

  • What reason have you for't?
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The naked truth of it is, I have no shirt; I go
  • woolward for penance.
  • BOYET:

  • True, and it was enjoined him in Rome for want of
  • linen: since when, I'll be sworn, he wore none but
  • a dishclout of Jaquenetta's, and that a' wears next
  • his heart for a favour.
  • [Enter MERCADE]

  • MERCADE:

  • God save you, madam!
  • PRINCESS:

  • Welcome, Mercade;
  • But that thou interrupt'st our merriment.
  • MERCADE:

  • I am sorry, madam; for the news I bring
  • Is heavy in my tongue. The king your father--
  • PRINCESS:

  • Dead, for my life!
  • MERCADE:

  • Even so; my tale is told.
  • BIRON:

  • Worthies, away! the scene begins to cloud.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • For mine own part, I breathe free breath. I have
  • seen the day of wrong through the little hole of
  • discretion, and I will right myself like a soldier.
  • [Exeunt Worthies]

  • FERDINAND:

  • How fares your majesty?
  • PRINCESS:

  • Boyet, prepare; I will away tonight.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Madam, not so; I do beseech you, stay.
  • PRINCESS:

  • Prepare, I say. I thank you, gracious lords,
  • For all your fair endeavors; and entreat,
  • Out of a new-sad soul, that you vouchsafe
  • In your rich wisdom to excuse or hide
  • The liberal opposition of our spirits,
  • If over-boldly we have borne ourselves
  • In the converse of breath: your gentleness
  • Was guilty of it. Farewell worthy lord!
  • A heavy heart bears not a nimble tongue:
  • Excuse me so, coming too short of thanks
  • For my great suit so easily obtain'd.
  • FERDINAND:

  • The extreme parts of time extremely forms
  • All causes to the purpose of his speed,
  • And often at his very loose decides
  • That which long process could not arbitrate:
  • And though the mourning brow of progeny
  • Forbid the smiling courtesy of love
  • The holy suit which fain it would convince,
  • Yet, since love's argument was first on foot,
  • Let not the cloud of sorrow justle it
  • From what it purposed; since, to wail friends lost
  • Is not by much so wholesome-profitable
  • As to rejoice at friends but newly found.
  • PRINCESS:

  • I understand you not: my griefs are double.
  • BIRON:

  • Honest plain words best pierce the ear of grief;
  • And by these badges understand the king.
  • For your fair sakes have we neglected time,
  • Play'd foul play with our oaths: your beauty, ladies,
  • Hath much deform'd us, fashioning our humours
  • Even to the opposed end of our intents:
  • And what in us hath seem'd ridiculous,--
  • As love is full of unbefitting strains,
  • All wanton as a child, skipping and vain,
  • Form'd by the eye and therefore, like the eye,
  • Full of strange shapes, of habits and of forms,
  • Varying in subjects as the eye doth roll
  • To every varied object in his glance:
  • Which parti-coated presence of loose love
  • Put on by us, if, in your heavenly eyes,
  • Have misbecomed our oaths and gravities,
  • Those heavenly eyes, that look into these faults,
  • Suggested us to make. Therefore, ladies,
  • Our love being yours, the error that love makes
  • Is likewise yours: we to ourselves prove false,
  • By being once false for ever to be true
  • To those that make us both,--fair ladies, you:
  • And even that falsehood, in itself a sin,
  • Thus purifies itself and turns to grace.
  • PRINCESS:

  • We have received your letters full of love;
  • Your favours, the ambassadors of love;
  • And, in our maiden council, rated them
  • At courtship, pleasant jest and courtesy,
  • As bombast and as lining to the time:
  • But more devout than this in our respects
  • Have we not been; and therefore met your loves
  • In their own fashion, like a merriment.
  • DUMAIN:

  • Our letters, madam, show'd much more than jest.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • So did our looks.
  • ROSALINE:

  • We did not quote them so.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Now, at the latest minute of the hour,
  • Grant us your loves.
  • PRINCESS:

  • A time, methinks, too short
  • To make a world-without-end bargain in.
  • No, no, my lord, your grace is perjured much,
  • Full of dear guiltiness; and therefore this:
  • If for my love, as there is no such cause,
  • You will do aught, this shall you do for me:
  • Your oath I will not trust; but go with speed
  • To some forlorn and naked hermitage,
  • Remote from all the pleasures of the world;
  • There stay until the twelve celestial signs
  • Have brought about the annual reckoning.
  • If this austere insociable life
  • Change not your offer made in heat of blood;
  • If frosts and fasts, hard lodging and thin weeds
  • Nip not the gaudy blossoms of your love,
  • But that it bear this trial and last love;
  • Then, at the expiration of the year,
  • Come challenge me, challenge me by these deserts,
  • And, by this virgin palm now kissing thine
  • I will be thine; and till that instant shut
  • My woeful self up in a mourning house,
  • Raining the tears of lamentation
  • For the remembrance of my father's death.
  • If this thou do deny, let our hands part,
  • Neither entitled in the other's heart.
  • FERDINAND:

  • If this, or more than this, I would deny,
  • To flatter up these powers of mine with rest,
  • The sudden hand of death close up mine eye!
  • Hence ever then my heart is in thy breast.
  • DUMAIN:

  • But what to me, my love? but what to me? A wife?
  • KATHARINE:

  • A beard, fair health, and honesty;
  • With three-fold love I wish you all these three.
  • DUMAIN:

  • O, shall I say, I thank you, gentle wife?
  • KATHARINE:

  • Not so, my lord; a twelvemonth and a day
  • I'll mark no words that smooth-faced wooers say:
  • Come when the king doth to my lady come;
  • Then, if I have much love, I'll give you some.
  • DUMAIN:

  • I'll serve thee true and faithfully till then.
  • KATHARINE:

  • Yet swear not, lest ye be forsworn again.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • What says Maria?
  • MARIA:

  • At the twelvemonth's end
  • I'll change my black gown for a faithful friend.
  • LONGAVILLE:

  • I'll stay with patience; but the time is long.
  • MARIA:

  • The liker you; few taller are so young.
  • BIRON:

  • Studies my lady? mistress, look on me;
  • Behold the window of my heart, mine eye,
  • What humble suit attends thy answer there:
  • Impose some service on me for thy love.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Oft have I heard of you, my Lord Biron,
  • Before I saw you; and the world's large tongue
  • Proclaims you for a man replete with mocks,
  • Full of comparisons and wounding flouts,
  • Which you on all estates will execute
  • That lie within the mercy of your wit.
  • To weed this wormwood from your fruitful brain,
  • And therewithal to win me, if you please,
  • Without the which I am not to be won,
  • You shall this twelvemonth term from day to day
  • Visit the speechless sick and still converse
  • With groaning wretches; and your task shall be,
  • With all the fierce endeavor of your wit
  • To enforce the pained impotent to smile.
  • BIRON:

  • To move wild laughter in the throat of death?
  • It cannot be; it is impossible:
  • Mirth cannot move a soul in agony.
  • ROSALINE:

  • Why, that's the way to choke a gibing spirit,
  • Whose influence is begot of that loose grace
  • Which shallow laughing hearers give to fools:
  • A jest's prosperity lies in the ear
  • Of him that hears it, never in the tongue
  • Of him that makes it: then, if sickly ears,
  • Deaf'd with the clamours of their own dear groans,
  • Will hear your idle scorns, continue then,
  • And I will have you and that fault withal;
  • But if they will not, throw away that spirit,
  • And I shall find you empty of that fault,
  • Right joyful of your reformation.
  • BIRON:

  • A twelvemonth! well; befall what will befall,
  • I'll jest a twelvemonth in an hospital.
  • PRINCESS:

  • [To FERDINAND]

  • Ay, sweet my lord; and so I take my leave.
  • FERDINAND:

  • No, madam; we will bring you on your way.
  • BIRON:

  • Our wooing doth not end like an old play;
  • Jack hath not Jill: these ladies' courtesy
  • Might well have made our sport a comedy.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Come, sir, it wants a twelvemonth and a day,
  • And then 'twill end.
  • BIRON:

  • That's too long for a play.
  • [Re-enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO]

  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Sweet majesty, vouchsafe me,--
  • PRINCESS:

  • Was not that Hector?
  • DUMAIN:

  • The worthy knight of Troy.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • I will kiss thy royal finger, and take leave. I am
  • a votary; I have vowed to Jaquenetta to hold the
  • plough for her sweet love three years. But, most
  • esteemed greatness, will you hear the dialogue that
  • the two learned men have compiled in praise of the
  • owl and the cuckoo? It should have followed in the
  • end of our show.
  • FERDINAND:

  • Call them forth quickly; we will do so.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • Holla! approach.
  • [Re-enter HOLOFERNES, SIR NATHANIEL, MOTH, COSTARD, and others]

  • This side is Hiems, Winter, this Ver, the Spring;
  • the one maintained by the owl, the other by the
  • cuckoo. Ver, begin.
  • [THE SONG]

  • [SPRING.]

  • When daisies pied and violets blue
  • And lady-smocks all silver-white
  • And cuckoo-buds of yellow hue
  • Do paint the meadows with delight,
  • The cuckoo then, on every tree,
  • Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;
  • Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
  • Unpleasing to a married ear!
  • When shepherds pipe on oaten straws
  • And merry larks are ploughmen's clocks,
  • When turtles tread, and rooks, and daws,
  • And maidens bleach their summer smocks
  • The cuckoo then, on every tree,
  • Mocks married men; for thus sings he, Cuckoo;
  • Cuckoo, cuckoo: O word of fear,
  • Unpleasing to a married ear!
  • WINTER.
  • When icicles hang by the wall
  • And Dick the shepherd blows his nail
  • And Tom bears logs into the hall
  • And milk comes frozen home in pail,
  • When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul,
  • Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;
  • Tu-who, a merry note,
  • While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
  • When all aloud the wind doth blow
  • And coughing drowns the parson's saw
  • And birds sit brooding in the snow
  • And Marian's nose looks red and raw,
  • When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl,
  • Then nightly sings the staring owl, Tu-whit;
  • Tu-who, a merry note,
  • While greasy Joan doth keel the pot.
  • DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO:

  • The words of Mercury are harsh after the songs of
  • Apollo. You that way: we this way.
  • [Exeunt]