The Devil's Dictionary, by Ambrose Bierce

V

VALOR, n.
A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope."Why have you halted?" roared the commander of a division and Chickamauga, who had ordered a charge; "move forward, sir, at once.""General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy."

VANITY, n.
The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.

VIRTUES, n.pl.
Certain abstentions.

VITUPERATION, n.
Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

VOTE, n.
The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.